Thursday, January 29, 2009

I have an idea.

I have a great idea, and once again it involves YOU, dear people who don't know any better than to read this blog. My idea is this:

Everybody give me 10 dollars a day just for being alive.

That's right, you heard me - ten bucks a day. It's not much. You can afford it. It's the price of a pack of diapers, or a bottle of wine, or Grandad's heart meds.

However, if you're a victim of the current credit crunch or perhaps today's the day your crotchfruit needs some buttswaddlers, today only you can purchase 2 days worth of support for the same low price of 10 dollars! Two days! Cheap at twice the price.

AND, if you commit in the next 20 minutes, I'll throw in an opportunity to buy me lunch at a yet-to-be-named date. Lunch! With me! You pay!


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Boy, I expect THAT'LL bring them out of the woodwork like Disney lemmings to the ocean. All those rubes out there, waiting to support a well-fed arteest like myself. Why, it'll be grand, keeping those maroons on a string, waiting for the next big thing to come flowing forth from my fingertips. Oh boy - they'll just BEG to take what I write and shop it around to lit mags and underground humor sites just for the CHANCE to say they had a part of my sudden spurt from nowhere to the top of the global famestage.

Heh - and while that cash is piling up in heaps around the Tiny House, I'll be off pillaging great ideas from other people, massaging them gently into a thing of my own creation (jut enough to avoid outright plagiarization if the idea happens to be the sole and exclusive property of the originator), and chucking them over the fence to the slavishly awaiting and highly supportive public, just like Andy Warhol did.

Man, I need to go buy some cheap wigs and bad sunglasses.

This? Is going to be great.

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