Friday, January 25, 2008

Gassy, Sassy, Klassy

My new cubemate burped this morning.

Three times.

Didn't say "excuse me," not even once.

I think I hate him.


Anyone ever have an epic fart? The kind that you'd LOVE to share with someone because it was so damned awesome that people should KNOW about it?

Well friends, that was my experience this morning. I experienced 15 seconds of fart, people. Fifteen SECONDS! Yes, I counted, don't you when in the throes of a whopper-toot? To say I felt deflated by the end would not do it justice, for it was a gaseous emission of monstrous proportion, and I am very proud of myself.

Plus which, my pants fit better after. Whee!!


Got semi-lost on the way to work this morning. Yeah. I THOUGHT I had looked at the map correctly when I was scoping out a new way to get to work (being as how I'm the kind of person who gets BORED with driving the same way, every day) and I guess I forgot to take a left turn someplace, because I would up rather far north of where I expected to be.

It worked out fine though, because I managed to get to Route 70 after a little while, and found out a new (albeit slightly longer) way to get to work.

Plus which, I got to see a roadside farm stand sign advertising "ternips" for sale. I was tempted for a moment to stop Tinkerbell and take the little plastic "e" out of the sign in protest of poor spelling, but then was too far down the road to turn around and make it so. I have fits of momentary primness, or so it would appear, but the prim is no match for the lazy, and so I moved on.


A plethora of snarkopps today on Yahoo headlines. Sweet relief, an outlet for my anger!

Shanghai worker fired over kissing video

Kissing videos, a shocking gateway to the naughtiness that is DVD fondling. Technophilia gone mad, I say!

Schools shuffle on table today

Will do a two-step in the courtyard as an encore.

Gates gives Forum optimism

Starts by saying "I never thought this would happen to me..."

Probe launched over Detroit mayor texts

Last seen orbiting Chapter 4.

Scottish & Newcastle agrees to takeover

Takeover .......what?

Asteroid will swing by, but won't stop

Earth is apparently not cool enough for any larger commitment from the smoking hot celestial body.

Researchers looking at coral threats

Will investigate maroon slanders next.

Golf Channel anchor apologizes for gaffe

Should have used a net instead.


And that's it folks. I'm off to buy some headphones, I think, so that if Mister Burpy McBorbyrigmi next door here decides to let fly with some post-prandial gut rumblings, at least I won't hear it.

Be well, keep safe, and have a lovely weekend. I'm flinging hugs in your general direction, so WATCH OUT!

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