Well, all right.

Most people on Valentine's Day go out to dinner with their sweetie, or give one another little gifts meant to endear one another to the other, or perhaps spend some extra-special canoodling time to re-bond with their mates.

Biff and I? We like to visit the emergency room on Valentine's Day.

There's just something special about spending 3+ hours sitting close to one another on uncomfortable plastic chairs surrounded by strangers in various states of disrepair that simply screams 'romance,' wouldn't you agree? I'm sure the lady coughing into her surgical mask, or the lady in a wheelchair who looked about ready to keel over, or the gentleman writing in pain, or the child screaming in blood-curdling agony down the hall would nod their heads enthusiastically if they had the strength to do so.

Why, I'll just bet the doctor who rammed a needle into Biff's knuckle, or the nurse who rammed a needle into his shoulder, or the other nurse who did not ram anything into Biff but instead smeared him with ointment and put his stitched-together finger in a sterile straitjacket would certainly say that quality time spent together in a busy emergency-room hallway, with one of you on a gurney and oozing blood, is a great way to shout your love for each other out loud.

It's the little things he does for me that make him so lovable., Little things, like nearly slicing off 1/3rd of this index finger. You know, that's real sacrifice for us to be able to spend alone time in the midst of a germ-spewing, groaning, wretched crowd.

Yep - it's almost like we should make this a tradition. Heck, we might just get to go back there sooner rather than later for our next great date if one of us picked up any nuclear-grade germs in that fetid hole of agony.

But heck - there's going to be steak and fried pastries dipped in chocolate for dinner, so what's half a day spent in one of the least glamorous places on earth between boy and girl? Not much, that's what.

Thanks for the excitement, darlin' Biff. You do know how to keep things interesting.

And to all tens of you who read NAY - Happy Valentine's Day! I hope yours didn't involve anything having to do with blood. I'd like to think we're pretty unique in that. :)