Needs a Title to be seen

Mr. Mini-announcer says - "It's time for the NEWZ, crazy babies!!!"
Let's get Biiizeee!

Stocks Bounce Back After 2-Day Plunge
Word on the street is the "Bumble and Bumble" stock was the key reason for the rebound.

(If you can name the movie reference that makes this joke work, mention it in the comments and win a prize!)Senate Votes Twice for English Language

Once in English, once in Spanish
Cruise Officials Say Man Fell Overboard

I'd say the couch jumping was GOING overboard, but if the officials say "fell," who am I to argue?
Scientists Claim New Monkey Species Found

The monkeys assert that they were never lost in the first place.
Enron Jury Takes Weekend Off

The jury on L Ron is still out.
Gore in movie campaign to protect Earth
"It's a puzzlement to me how splashing blood and guts onscreen will have any protective effect at all," one moviegoer was heard to say," but if that's what it takes to save our planet, then that's what it takes, I suppose."Vatican Disciplines Legionaries' Founder

Bring in....the comfy chair!!!!

LATE-Breaking UPDATE:
Stocks Keep Falling After 2-Day Plunge

Guess Cornelius lost the mojo at a critical moment.

(Again, this is obscure, but smirk-worthy when tied in with the previous lame attempt at humor aimed at 40-somethings).

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And NOW, for the Pictures of the Week!

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(a word - this was almost an "all-monkey's all-the-time" picture parade today - what is UP with the people at Yahoo these days and all the monkey snaps?)

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Here we see a screen cap of Kim Il Jung and costars in a rolicking scene from the Korean-language version of "Weekend at Bernie's" that involves attempting to dupe the entire female portion of the army into a game of "what's under your padded jacket?"

Using new techonolgy, scientists have deciphered the first chimpanzee "conversation." A transcript indicates that most of the inteactions involved phrases such as "I don't know, what do YOU want for lunch," "Well there's that new chicken place down onthe corner by the zebra pen," "I don't know, I feel a little bloated today," and "Dammit, you guys can't EVER make up your minds!."

In a horrible turn of events, the revered fruit lion of Mandalay was reported to have devoured several flower-children at a local festival that was designed to promote awareness of the new breed of photosynthetic humans. Tragically, it appears as though the citrusy carnivore has a penchant for floral-scented meats.

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And that will have to be it for today y'all! Have a great weekend from all of us here at TIFF teevee!