Almost in earnest, a game, and a question.

Sometimes I go through the details of my sitemeter report to see just who has been to visit N.A.Y. (cute, an acronym!) and what prompted them to come take a peek at this little chunk of the web.

OK, fine, I check EVERY day......but not obsessively. Six times a day, maybe? That's not obsessive, is it? Please say no, I'm new at this still and haven't developed a thick enough skin to not want people to come by and sit a spell.

The sitemeter is a trove of information. Often I recognize the familiar "names," those people who I know now by their internet provider or town name, and to whom I'm grateful for stopping by on a regular basis (thanks guys!). On occasion there are new names too, those folks who come here through other sites and who, if I'm lucky, return from time to time. And, as I'm sure you can imagine, there are some people who come in search of things, likely never to return.

It's those last few people in whom I'm interested lately. Who are they, those people who are looking for "pictures of Paris Hilton," or are on a quest for information about scintillating scotoma (that's a biggie for this humble site), pictures of Efudex treatment, or links to games?

It's pretty cool to think that, in some way, the informational portion of this blog will help someone. Makes me wish I had more medical issues, kinda, so that I could fill this blog chock FULL of tidbits about me and all the stuff that's wrong with me.

For instance, I could talk about how I have amblyopia. Because I do. See? I'm a cornucopia of oddness, with a story for almost every bodily system. Y'all know, if you've read N.A.Y. from the start, that I had the Hirschprung's disease as a kid, and transposed intestines, a smidge of childhood chubbiness, body odor issues (oh, yes, a first-grader who wears deodorant - it has happened!), tallness issues, freckles, paralyzing shyness, tinnitus, a-fib, varicose veins, migraines, and the aforementioned crazy alien vision problems. It's a wonder I can think at all.

Curiously, I still think I'm "normal." Why wouldn't I be? Who cares if I had part of my large intestine removed and skip a heartbeat every once in a while and can't wear shorts and only experienced 3-D vision for the first time a the age of 39 (thanks prismatic lenses!)? Those afflictions, if I dress properly and use the Sure and keep my glasses on and employ my verbal self-edit function on a consistent basis, aren't visible to anyone, and therefore don't affect how people perceive me.

I think.

Getting back to the point, I guess there are a whole LOT of medical-type things I could go on and on about here. Stuff of which I have first-hand knowledge. Things that would ping the hitmeter and bolster my page views and maybe gain me a few more semi-regular visitors.

But, you know, just like I don't really want this to be an "all funny, all the time" blog or a "Mommy blog" or a "stuff I did today" blog, I also don't want this to be a "all about my problems" blog.

Because, really, who wants to read about non-functioning intestines or crazy alien vision issues ALL the time?

So, sorry all y'all who searched on any of those medical phrases and words I just used, and are served nothing but bitter disappointment. It's just not my style to dwell on the unpleasant.

You can always browse the archives for games, I guess.

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Oh fine - I have to give y'all SOMETHING to go on, so here ya go.

"Hi! I'm Paris. Like the city, get it? I'm the pretty Hilton sister. Look! Look at my new dress! See how pretty it is, just like ME? Don't you like how it swirls around all pretty, like me?

Isn't it weird how Nicole and me and Ashlee are all starting to look alike? Isn't that hott? The bobblehead look is so IN right now! Totally! You know, I bet if they wore a dress made out of the sheets their moms used on their bed when they were in grade 3 then maybe they'd be as pretty as me, but I guess that maybe they didn't have 600-thread count ultra-high-density pure Pima cotton in a pretty pretty print like this on their beds because they didn't grow up all that rich, really, so whatever. I'm pretty! See?

My mom says it's neat that this dress covers my crotch, and I think it's cool too because now I don't have to wear underwear or remember not to cross my legs or sprawl. 'Cause I'm a TOTAL sprawler, y'all!. Believe it!

Oops, there's my sister over there trying to look prettier than me, I gotta go now and show her who the REAL popular Hilton is. Bye!"

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There, satisfied now?

Oh, all right. FINE. Don't ever say I never gave you anything...

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Gary Larson needs to come back for just one more. Please, Gar?

P.S - I'm trying out a new font - whaddaya think?