Oh, y'all, I just HAD to post this article from the local newspaper. The whole thing made me laugh, because THIS is what passes for news in our small-ish town. Italics are mine.
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"Wife Cited for Dishing Hot Ice Cream"
MRB, of X Street Y town, allegedly tried to put some sweet in an assault by hurling heated-up ice cream at her husband on X date.
CB told police he saw his wife dancing in the front yard with another man. Unhappy about he witnessed, he confronted his wife, Sgt. KH, the arresting officer, said CB "basically caught her doing something he didn't approve of."
The couple started to argue and Sgt H says the verbal altercation moved inside. CB claims his wife grabbed ice cream, heated in the microwave, and threw it at him.
"The ice cream wasn't frozen when she threw it at him, that's for sure," Sgt H said.
When Sgt. H arrived, the front of CB's shirt and part of this head was covered in ice cream. Sgt. H guessed it was vanilla.
MRB was arrested for simple assault against her husband. She was intoxicated (blogger's note: BINGO!), according to Sgt. H.
CB wanted to file a domestic restraining order, and ultimately wanted his wife away from him, said Sgt. H.
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High crime, y'all. High crimes indeed.
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