Thursday, October 19, 2006

Wha'd you say?

The results of the sleep test are in! I have "slight sleep apnea." Lemme just say now that this is likely the only thing "slight" about me besides my attention span, so I'll take what I can get.

Huzzah! Another sleep test looms large on the horizon! This time with a MASK!

Ooooh, I'll be in disguise! I shall call myself "Mistress SeePAP", or perhaps "Titratia"! You shall not recognize me behind my O2 mask of power and energy! The mask shall suffuse me with ebullient energy, I'll be ready to conquer the world with my newly replenished stores of FOCUS and ALERTNESS!

Huzzah, once more, for the possibility of the inception of Titratia, queen of SLEEP!

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Also, I have a new grunge band name. "Redundant uvula."

Cool, huh?

(oh, and it's not something I made up. It's something I have. Aren't I the lucky one? Who knew one lone uvula could be redundant? And yet, it is.......because "redundant" in this case means "really big," which is a curious thing, when you think of it. Is there a size limit? Apparently so.)

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Today, I hate my job. Today, my job is the suckiest suck-tastic job ever in the panoply of suckage that ever sucked.

Today, my job is a soul-sapping wasteland of suckification, in which I find myself mired in the opinions of others; others who do not believe I am swell and terrific, but instead believe that I suck with the force of a class 5 tornado.

(an aside - I can suck like a class5 tornado, if I want to, but didn't want to at work. There's a place and a time for sucking, and it is most certainly not at work.)

That is all I'm saying about THAT.

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Also, I enjoy being awakened at 4 a.m. Really, it's great. It's so great to be kicked out of bed by a hallucinating partner (thanks, Chantix!) who claims that YOUR side of the bed is HIS side and you must get out now so he can go back to sleep.

It's awesome to be up that early! So dark!

It's like being a cop, or a morning newscaster! Early, early! Darkety-dark-dark!

I awarded myself some gold stars for turning on the computer and working for a couple of hours, then sending out a few e-mails at oh-dark-thirty to people who might be impressed by that kind of thing. Never miss a chance to make it appear like you've slaving away in the wee hours, kiddies!

Once the sky was brightening (in the east! imagine!), I was done with the immediate tasks at hand, and so took a nap in the recliner. And ohboyohboy, the dreams! Oy! Not so much with the restful! But also not so much with the shoulder pain and the snoring and the being kicked out of bed, so, whatever.

By 8 p.m. this evening, the combination of job suck and lack of sleep should be evident. I cannot wait to find out how this day is going to end.

At least there's a roast in the crock pot.

Now, did I turn it ON?

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