Virtual reality

Lie down here please.

OK, lift your legs and I'll put this pillow under them to make you more comfortable, because this will take a while.

Would you like headphones?

I'm just going to use this strap to keep you still so you don't move.

Now, close your eyes while I slide you into position.

Perfect.

If you need me for anything, just press this button; be careful though because it's really sensitive.

OK, here we go.

(pause pause pause pause pause)

Sorry, had to get warmed up first.

Here we go.

BZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!

(Jesus! What the hell was THAT? Must.Hold.Still)

zzzzzZZZZZZZzzzzzzZZZZZZZZzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!

BooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooOOOOOOOOp.

(Holy crap that's loud. Must. Hold. Still!!!)

ZZZZat ZZZZAt ZZZZat ZZZZat ZZZZat ZZZZAt ZZZZat ZZZZat ZZZZat ZZZZAt ZZZZat ZZZZat ZZZZat ZZZZAt ZZZZat ZZZZat ZZZZat ZZZZAt ZZZZat ZZZZat ZZZZat ZZZZAt ZZZZat ZZZZat ZZZZat ZZZZAt ZZZZat ZZZZat ZZZZat ZZZZAt ZZZZat ZZZZat ZZZZat ZZZZAt ZZZZat ZZZZat ZZZZat ZZZZAt ZZZZat ZZZZat

Bimiinibiminibiminibiminibiminibiminibiminibimini

Bubbububububububububububububububububuubbbbbb

ZZZZZOt ZZZZZZZot ZZZZZZZot ZZZZZZot

rrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAatatatatat!!!

OK, I have to slide you back out and find a vein. You're doing great.

Yeah, that last one is for finding strokes. It's new. Pretty loud though, I know.

(the tourniquet is applied, the hand slapping begins, the vein is found, and the needle slips in)

You'll want to apply pressure to that so you don't bruise.

I'll turn the fan down, it's really cold in here.

(no duh - the shivering is making it hard to hold still!)

All right, back in you go.


BZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!

(God, I'm hearing in colors now. That is some good shit in that syringe!)

zzzzzZZZZZZZzzzzzzZZZZZZZZzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!

BooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooOOOOOOOOp.

(Why am I hearing salsa music and tasting bananas? Must. Hold. Still)

ZZZZat ZZZZAt ZZZZat ZZZZat ZZZZat ZZZZAt ZZZZat ZZZZat ZZZZat ZZZZAt ZZZZat ZZZZat ZZZZat ZZZZAt ZZZZat ZZZZat ZZZZat ZZZZAt ZZZZat ZZZZat ZZZZat ZZZZAt ZZZZat ZZZZat ZZZZat ZZZZAt ZZZZat ZZZZat ZZZZat ZZZZAt ZZZZat ZZZZat ZZZZat ZZZZAt ZZZZat ZZZZat ZZZZat ZZZZAt ZZZZat ZZZZat

Bimiinibiminibiminibiminibiminibiminibiminibimini

Bubbububububububububububububububububuubbbbbb

ZZZZZOt ZZZZZZZot ZZZZZZZot ZZZZZZot

All right, you're done.

Just lie there until you can get up.

You did great.

Yep, that's your brain allright.

No, I can't tell you if there's anything wrong with it.

(Damn!)

Here's a survey, would you please fill it out and send back to the hospital? Thanks a lot.

=========================

Thus endeth the inaugural MRI of my brain. Results next week.