Friday, May 15, 2009

Can you do the lotus doggie-style?

Well now. Today was about a combination of busy-busy please get the work done AND oh my god I'll never get the work done so I might as well just plow through about a metric assload of FaceBook quizzes and dump the pile of random requests and maybe play about 8 brazilian games of Pathwords because oh shit the time is running out but there's always tomorrow to do the shit I didn't do today.

This, of course, makes me the reincarnation of the most stereotypical laid-back Hispanic in history, for whom 'manana' (do NOT day it like 'banana' please) is not just a word, but a way of life. Swah-vey, babies I'll do it tomorrow. Today, the roof doesn't need a patch because it's not raining!

In the plowing through of things that was (unexpectedly, and shamefully) on the menu for today, I learned a lot of things. Some of those things are as follows:

  • I am an ENTJ (or was it an ENTP? aw crap. um, whichever one it was was the one that makes me sound like a whole LOT of fun). Wait, lemme go see...
Whoops; wrong on both counts. apparently I'ma one -o- dem "communicators." A real-life ENFJ! Charming and convincing speaker. Enjoys being with people. Excellent at swaying people. Great at networking, bringing people and ideas together.

Oh yes. I bring people together. With My CHARM! Now bow to me and give me your CASH!!!

  • If I were a sexual position, I would be 'doggie style.' How very serendipitous, for I am a big fan of that action.
  • If I were a Kama sutra position, I would be the lotus. How also very serendipitous, for I am also a fan of that action too, but because i am old have to slowly work my way up to the flexibility required to be crossed-legged with my thighs against my chest (whilst on my back)...another week or so should do it. I will either achieve success, or be the horniest paraplegic on the block.
  • I do not know enough about Ron.
  • Someone from my HS class who was in the 'popular kids' group asked to be my friend. I allowed her the privilege, for I BRING PEOPLE TOGETHER! What I learned about myself from this is that the kids who were cool in HS are now humbled in my presence. It is a good feeling. A very good feeling.
There are other things that happened today, because life is not ALL about what happens on FaceBook, but the other stuff is boring. Stuff like "I haven't had a shower yet today" and "the new programmable thermostat rocks balls" and "bourbon and the smell of freshly cut grass are as fine a match as Snow White and Bigdick, or whatever that Dorky Dwarf's name was (because Lord, you have heard that the mentally challenged do make up for it in other ways, have you not? Just watch "Young Frankenstein" for proof!)."

Boring stuff. Just like that.

Oh, and my Angerometer is on the fritz and needs a juiceup. I'm feeling far too accepting lately, and need something to get pissed off about to get the ol' juices flowing again. Any ideas?

I'm off to get, as we used to say, 'altered.' Hope y'all are doing the same.

Have yourselves a lovely weekend.

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