Play it again, Tiff

I guess it's because I'm very self-centered and love to talk about myself that I volunteered to answer five questions from my buddy Kingfisher.

See, he was good enough to answer MY questions in a thoughtful and considered fashion, and so I jumped right back in the deep end of the pool and asked him to ask ME five questions.

It was only later that I thought that this might have been a bad bad idea. Sometimes my enthusiasm is a little too enthusiastic.

It's like this: KF is a thinker. He's a philosopher, a feeler of deep emotion, a holder of firm opinion, a sayer of truth. It occurred to me, much too late, that I'm generally afraid of people like that. However, he's also one of my very good bloggy friends, and for a while was my partner in writing at the now-defunct Wordsmiths (and if anyone wants to revive THAT blog, let him know), and I respect him for this intellect, talent, forthrightness, and creativity. All that respect and me-too-ism brought me to the point of returning his serve, as it were, and thus I find myself here, pondering his queries, mulling over my answers, hoping that what I offer as answer will be of merit.

(Or something. Sometimes the words come out and I have no idea what I'm saying.)

Onward then, before I begin channeling Charles Dickens and go all uber-descriptotastic.

1) You believe in something silly, yet serious. What is it?

Oh boy. Question number 1 wants to kick my a--! Embarrassment as appetizer! Yummy!

(OK, here goes. Please keep the snickering to a minuimum, if possible.)

I believe that inanimate objects (or so we think of them) have feelings. For example: my stuffed animals are NEVER left in uncomfortable positions for the day; I apologize to furniture if I bump into it; I believe that clothing is happier when folded; and we all know how I feel about stacking plates. Yes, it's silly, but also serious, because that attitude of attention to non-sentient things can only overflow into how I treat those beings who are, supposedly, alive and thinking.

Yes, it even extends to spiders. They only get mashed if I'm in imminent danger of being touched by one. So I'm not perfect; sue me.

2) You have the power to eliminate one of the following: television, internet, newspaper. Explain.

Television.
That was almost too easy.

I've found recently that I can live quite happily without the boob tube. I can entertain myself for hours on the internet, and use a newspaper to inform me of all the local stuff that's going on that I CAN'T get from the Web. I think the TV is a huge waste of time, by and large, because there's little to no interaction with it, there's little to no imagination required to consume it, and there's little to no content within it (sorry, Mythbusters, you know I love you, but really, I only watch for the explosions).

Mind you, I'm really only addressing AMERICAN teevee here. I've tried to watch the tube in England, and while it's not much better, at least they show nudity on free channels. I might have to change my mind if we were to do that here.

3) You are an animal. What is it?

Oh my gosh. I have no idea. Um, my Chinese horoscope says I'm a tiger, but I don't feel very tiger-y on a daily basis.

I normally identify with cows - they're placid, thoughtful, calm, accepting, and friendly. They're not terrifically bright or witty; however (that's left the the pigs), so right about there is where the identification ends.

I'm not birdlike. Not catlike. Not doglike either, really.

Giant sloth? Wildebeast? Lion? Tamarind? Emu? Naked mole rat? Centipede? Aardvark? Gnu?

Sigh.

No. None of these.

I'd have to say that I'm most like a bear. A grizzly bear. With cubs. On a sunny summer afternoon. After a big meal. Nice and peaceful out in the great green field, not bothered by the swarms of blackflies, my babies playing near me, warm sun on my back, half-napping. Yep - that sounds about right. A grizzly bear. Cute, but deadly.

I like it.

4) You want to see/know/experience three things before you die. What are they?

I want to experience my hundredth birthday party, I want to see Ireland, and I want to know for sure that forgiveness is possible.

You know - there are so very many other ways I could have gone on this. Like, I want see my children grown and happy, I want to experience true love, I want to know world peace.

Also, I want to see a volcano erupting in person, I want to experience a skydive, I want to know what it's like to publish a book.

But mostly, I want to know myself, see the world, and experience life.

(and y'all? I KNOW that I didn't have to answer each iteration with a point-by-point "see/know/experience" answer. It's just how my brain works. Deal.)

5) You wish someone would ask you what three questions?

A) who are you, really?

B) why twilight and not dawn?

C) would you like another drink?

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You know what? These questions took me a long time to answer. I pondered on some, re-answered most, diddled around with the words, and still don't think I got it just exactly right. So very not like me to spend so much time slinging words.

KF, darlin? I hope you're not disappointed.