Ranking the surgeries

If you're wondering, the answer for me is 'YES.'

I promised a takedown of my recent surgeries, and will now rank them in order of which one I'd be 'OK doing again' to 'please never again.'

#1) Biopsy of a mass in the boob: The anesthetic was a little squinchy, but the nice nurse held my hand so I wouldn't try to 'help' the surgeon sterilize the punch zone.  A few pokes and tiny cores samples later, and I was out the door in next to no time.  Steri-strips held me together A-OK and the bruising was minimal.  10 days to no visible after-effects.

#2) Extraction of a broken tooth: the lead-up is always super-owie when you're walking around with a fractured infected molar - who would have guessed?  This is one surgery (I count it as such bcs of the stitches placed to hold the gum together once the offending member is removed) that has real and immediate benefits, friends.   Yank that tooth out, stick some dead guy's bone powder in the deficit, squash some surgical membrane on top of that, and stitch 'er up.  Yeah, sure, the 'soft foods' dies must be obeyed, but I LIKE mashed potatoes and refried beans so no huge sacrifice.  Not like I want to go around chewing on hard things and risking further fractures!  Also about 10 days to heal and for the stitches to fall out (I do NOT 'absorb' stitches like doctors keep telling me I will).

#3) Breast lumpectomy:  I wasn't aware it happened, and that's for the best, I'm sure.  Apparently I am 'difficult to intubate,' and wound up coughing up a few clots for a couple of days and had a very sore throat for a week.  The two surgical sites healed up pretty well over a couple of weeks, though the site where they took a few lymph nodes for testing was SORE for at least 3 weeks.  The actual lump extraction site stopped hurting after about 5 days, but node site didn't want to give up that easily.  I think there are stitches wanting to rise up and escape through the skin, is what I think.

#4) Chemo port placement: I WISH I wasn't aware of what was happening, but was not given the choice (not that I'd have wanted more general anesthetic, given the whole intubation issue).   Awake and aware the whole time, for the lidocaine to the IV placement to the cutting and pulling and tugging and stitching, I knew about it all.  Certainly unpleasant, and a week later the port site STILL hurts but is, according to the oncology nurse I saw yesterday, healing well.  I suppose when a fair-sized lump of plastic is shoved under your skin and then said skin is stitched up (AGAIN WITH THE STITCHES!), there's bound to be some long-term sensitivity.  But still.  It's freaking pain, and I haven't been able to shower for a week now, what with water being the Enemy and such.  I did take a bath two days ago, which was great, but there's something about being older and chubby that makes getting OUT of a tub way way harder than getting INTO a tub. 

So yeah - 4 surgeries in the last month or so, if you can believe it.  I've done my time in the operating theaters of Wake County, is what I'm saying, and don't want to have to read another after-care pamphlet anytime in the near future.

Oh wait.  I start chemotherapy in 10 days.  There's a whole BINDER full of stuff I need to read up on.

Maybe I'll go shop for head scarves first.  Folks tell me it sucks being bald in the winter.

Tiff out.