Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Who's the pretty monkey?

Do you know the difference between who's and whose?

There, they're, and their?

Ensure, assure, insure?

Affect and effect?

I do, and that scares me a little. What's more, when I use them improperly, it pisses me off. I should know better, yet sometimes the mistakes slip by; tuned loose by spellcheck into the ether of public scorn. Grrrrrr.

The odd thing is, even with this intimate knowledge of commonly mis-used words, I'm not a very good speller, and I'm an even worse typist. Anyone who has IM'ed with me knows this. It is, of course, part of my charm that I can't type worth a crap, and those who deign to keep my acquaintance soon learn that 'goign ot' means 'going to' and that any combination of t, h, and e means 'the.'

As with so many other things in my life, in typing I'm fast and improper. Woohoo!
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There's a guy in Munich who just had two new arms transplanted onto the stumps left behind after he was in an industrial accident 6 years ago.

After the first thought of "wow!" the second thought that popped into my head was "I wonder if it'll feel weird the first time he masturbates?"

Someone else's hands, you know.

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The Town of Wake Forest is looking for folks to volunteer to help plan the town's centennial celebration party. I could help them, but after we get past the drinks menu I'm going to lose interest, I just know it.

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This post is taking a stupidly long time to write.

So I'll stop writing, being as how there's not that much interesting to say, and also because once I took the time to write down everything I have to do today a cold chill raced up my spine. It's not good, folks. It's not good at all.

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One more thing though. if ever you should get the bright idea to go to two waterparks in one weekend, be sure to take your Motrin or other pain reliever of your choice before going to bed on Sunday night, because you're going to need it come Monday morning in order to get out of bed without pain.

The biologist in me should have guessed that trying to keep my head screwed on straight while careening down steep water chutes at many dozens of MPHs (or so it seemed) could cause some stress in the ol' neck muscles. The biologist in me didn't venture any such guesses while the careeening was being done, nor at any suitable time thereafter....

As a result, I couldn't turn my head or raise my arms yesterday without wincing.

Fortunately, I wasn't the only one. The Things also suffered similarly. This, oddly, made me feel better, as though my pain was not the result of being old and out of shape, but rather was the result of having undergone and thorough physical assault to which I am not accustomed.

Me and rationalization? Are very VERY good friends..

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Y'all have a great day. Imma gonna go see if there a dent to be made in the 'to-do' list.

XO - Tiff.

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