Monday, June 30, 2008

One in the hand

Commuter alert:

There’s a truck on the roads of Wake County that is a stone-cold bird killer. I know this because I followed it into work today. Not one, but two brilliant-red cardinals were left for dead by the reaper van today, tossed to the side of the road (in one case, in the other pretty much thrown under the bus, as it were) as bright dead things.

This truck, in odd coincidence, is a radon remediation vehicle. Saving the lives of us and our families from the unseen spectre of radon, only to go out and wreak havoc on the avian population.

Oooooh, spooky.

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In a conversation with a friend over the weekend, a question arose that I think needs some internetly follow-up.

That is: is anything OTHER than havoc ever wreaked?

Can you wreak happiness, for example?

This seems to indicate that you can. So, my entreaty to you is to go on out and wreak something other than havoc for today. I plan to wreak some productivity, some contentment, and some buzz, in that order.

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Side note: I suppose one can wreak reek, given enough days without showering.

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Speaking of showering….the lone bathtub/shower combo in the Tiny House now sports anew coat of ‘almond’ paint. This makes me happy in a rather delirious fashion, for the old color was that horrific shade of bile yellow commonly known as ‘harvest gold’

But not just the garden variety harvest gold, oh no. This tub wsa harvest gold with chips. And cracks! And a glue line where the shower door used to be! It was not a pretty thing, not at all.

But now? NOW it is a lovely pale tan, it matches the sole Tiny House toilet, it goes with the new vinyl tile, and thanks to some judicious use of Bondo prior to painting, it no longer has the chips.

One problem though – the refinishing paint said not to use bathmats that have suction cups on them, because the suction cups could undo that hard-wrought work done in the refinishing process (wash with TSP and then scour with steel wool, THREE TIMES! Gah!), which would of course be a very sad (not to mention aggravating) thing.

DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND A BATH MAT THAT DO NOT HAVE SUCTION CUPS??????

Well, do you?

At this point, after having checked a variety of stores, I question whether cupless bathmats even exist. Is this something that my friends at the tub refinishing paint company put on their labelling to drive Harry and Harriet homeowners like me stark raving MAD? If so, they’ve done a fine job. FYI: Those nice foam mats that are designed to be placed by your kitchen sink for cushy underfootedness whilst doing dishes LOOK like a fine option for tubly safety, but, without the daggone SUCTION CUPS, they slip when wet, rather defeating the purpose of the mat. If I want to slip,. I’ll just use the bath tub floor, thanks very much.

I’m loath to put down those abrasive little daisy things, because they’re kitschy and I’m notsomuch with the kitsch. Strips of adhesive/abrasive things are OK, but not very pretty OR cushy. I want cushy safety, and I want it now, but I fear that a bathmatty cush is right out, now that the harvest gold is gone and harmony of a hue-y nature is close to being achieved.

Nothing is simple, my friends, nothing at all.

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Final note: go see “WALL-E.” You will NOT be disappointed.

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Wreak like a mofo y'all - it's MONDAY!

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