Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Semi-daring sartorial moves can lead to self-love

I hope you're having a spectacular day.

No really, I do.



Went shopping at the ol’ Wal-Mark a couple weeks ago, looking for bargains and perhaps something to augment my pitiable selection of work clothes.

It was time, y’all. I have 2 pairs of pants and 2 skirts that I wear over and over again, and it’s starting to show. Holes in the knees, pilling, hanging threads, the works. Things couldn’t go on like that indefinitely, so off I went.

(and just shut up about me buying clothes at Wally World. I’m cheap to the max, hate clothes shopping, and I could get GROCERIES while I was there! BONUS!)

After utilizing my favorite method of garment acquisition (hold it up and see if it looks big enough) I came home with three new shirts, two new skirts, and a new pair of pants. Now, the skirts are a new thing for me, being that most of my previous ones are LONG affairs, the shortest reaching to a couple of inches below the knee.

The new ones? ABOVE the knee, by at least an inch. Gasp!

This showing of extra skin is actually pretty huge, because for years I wouldn’t show my knees due to having really awful varicose veins, but as you might recall I had those suckers yanked out about 18 months ago and even though I don’t have the best legs ever they’re certainly not the worst and I figured it was time to show them off a little beforeI get too old to do so being as how in a few years my poor knees will be all shar-pei’d out what with the age-related saggage brought about by a notable lack of estrogen.

Therefore, the shorter skirts.

Which are, it turns out, a bit of a challenge. Seems that short skirts, to the unconditioned wearer (that'd be me), often feel like they’re a mite more revealing than one might like, and often feel as though there’s nothing ‘back there’ at all, which as you would imagine is not a really great look to cultivate in the corporate world, and I don’t care how nice your ass is, it’s WORK and we shouldn’t be seeing even the nicest of bare derriers while cranking out the widgets.

So, the situation today is that the skirt I’m wearing is a cute lil’ black number that looks like a kilt, and honestly? I would be ever so much happier with it if I had a sporran. Every daggone time I stand up I feel compelled to reach around and smooth the damned thing down, hoping like crazy it’s still long enough to cover most of the thigh area. Which of course it IS, but I keep checking, and rechecking. People, this skirt is making me go all OCD about my butt, which I think we can all agree is an unusual situation in which to find onesself. All that self-patting is going to start looking a tad odd if I don't stop soon…

Maybe next time I shop I’ll just take the plunge and try the dang things ON. Then walk around in them to be sure I don’t feel like Miss Tarty McAttentionwhore whilst wearing the article of choice.


The other skirt didn't have this problem. Maybe because I was wearing it with my ONE pair of high heels, and was so concerned about not falling OFF them that I didn't give the skirt a second thought.

Hmmmmm. Either I need to wear more high heels, or I should just stick with pants and ankle-length maxi-skirts.

So hey, intenets, what road do you think I should walk down - High Heels Lane or Hippy Chick Drive?

You have the power to change my wardrobe, you know. ACTIVATE!

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