Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Oh my God, I'm posting BLIND

(For some reason I can't see much of the post box on Blogger (though I suspect it's because work only supports IE6, which is being phased out across the boundless void that is the internet. Thanks for being way behind the curve, work!), so if this comes out at ALL it'll be a miracle. PRAY FOR A MIRACLE!!! PRAY!!!)

I’m feeling naughty today, and so am proposing that we bare ourselves to one another.

No, it’s not Half-Naked Thursday, you cranially sullied fenstermartins, you!

Nay, what I am proposing to you is that we have an unofficial delurk day.

It’s easy! If you have a blog of your own all’s ya do is this:

1) Clean a spot about 3 feet square on the floor
2) Cut an onion in half
3) Get down on your knees in the clean spot
4) Take a whiff of the onion
5) While your eyes are glistening with tears, wring your hands in supplication to the invisible internet, and BEG YOUR FACE OFF for people to leave a comment on your site.

Simple, no? And not at all embarrassing! Those tears are the onion’s fault, and who doesn’t want to kneel on a nice shiny spot on the floor? Nobody, that’s who! Perfectly NORMAL to be doing what you’re doing where you’re doing it!

As in most good games, there is more than one player (though, playing with YOURSELF could lead to interesting results, and not a little bit of concern from your friends that You Might Go Blind From That). If you are READING this, therefore, your turn in the game goes like this:

1) click the ‘shatter the silence/barking monkeys’ thingie at the bottom of this here beggin’ post
2) Fill in the requested information, and if you’re really very truly shy, at least put a nickname in there
3) Type SOMETHING in the box provided (and the first joker who actually types ‘SOMETHING’ is a Little Miss/Mr Literal, which is a trait I adore)
4) Click the ‘publish’ button

Also simple, no? Yes? Si, it is.

What’s fun is that you can play BOTH parts of this game if you want (really, it won't make you go blind), both here and on your OWN site if you have one.

See, I’m sick of waiting for International DeLurk Day or whatever the cool kids call it, because participating in something when everyone ELSE is doing it belies a sheeplike nature that I KNOW you ain’t. You are a black sheep, all of you! You’d be PLAID if you could, but that would be silly and against Mendellian and other forms of genetics and besides which, a tartan sheep would clash with the furniture so no, no plaid. But black, black is cool and awesome and the color of night and the powerful ninja, a stealthy marauder and slayer of shadows.

YOU are the black sheep, and want to delurk to prove you’re not afraid to make your presence known, even if it’s not the officially sanctioned Day of DeLurking! So, strip off that lanolin-soaked mantle of conformity, bleat out your existence in the comments, then bound over to wherever you call home and herd YOUR readers into doing the same thing. Together we can create a cacaphony of commenters, shattering the vast silences between us!

And then? Have a lovely day. Tiff be owt.

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