Monday, August 11, 2008

In a word, No

Sum dood in the You Kay wants to aksept vareeayeshuns in speling as OK four his stoodints.

Dude? No. No, no, and a thousand times, NO. Why should we accept that some people, COLLEGE STUDENTS, for Pete's sake, can't spell 'ignore' or similar easy-to-remember words? What's the point of teaching people to proper way to do something if you're just going to to go all 'well, the poor darlings have been penalized for not remembering what their 7th grade teacher taught, and it's high time we allowed these precious snowflakes to succeed without having to go through the God-awful process of memorizing'?

This, from someone who relies heavily on spell-check.

Yes, I sound like a curmudgeon, and I KNOW that language evolves (otherwise we'd all be speaking in proto Sanskrit or somesuch), and I know that some of our English words are really stupidly spelled, but having consistency in the expression of a confusing language is important.

Otherwise, you'd have chaos. "Though" could become "thow" if you simply truncated "throw." "Throughout"? Becomes "threwout." "Actually" might change to "akshully." It would be the LOLcattizing of the language, and while that might be cute for funny captions of kittehs, it's not what I would urge us to do for other printed materials.

The Constitution of the United States in LOLspeak. Can you imagine it?


There's a featherweight boxer from Ghana whose name is Prince Octopus Dwahli.

Now why would his parents do something like that to their poor boy?


Five gallons of this color paint have been purchased for which to bedeck the Tiny House.

It is vibrant, no? Even though a reasonably common consensus was reached here in the comments section that the TH should be painted some form of yellow, it was not to be once the nice paint man grimaced at the idea.

Apparently painting yellow over blue would have required at least two coats, and therefore double the money for paint, and double the time SPENT painting.

Yeah. No.

Blue it was.

After swatching the house with a bit of it prior to procuring the remaining gallons needed, it took a bit of getting used to. Oh sure, I could have gone with the safer, lighter blue that more closely resembles the blue already ON the house, but why? What's the point of living safe? The TH deserves to fairly rattle with vividness. It should SHINE in its tiny glory!

Shine it shall.

During the eviction off the house of some rotten boards, it was discovered that the siding on the house is not the original wood. Oh no, it is not. How do I know this? Am I the Gil Grissom of old houses? Can I rate wood using a combination of scent, tree ring pattern recognition, and age-dating the husks of old insects found under the removed boards?

No, no I cannot.

What I CAN do, and is much more simple, is to go 'ah ha!' when the rotted boards reveal a second layer of siding underneath.

Also blue!

It's fate, y'all. The TH is blue. It's been blue for years, it shall be blue for years more. Right now it's kind of mottled because even the 7+ hours I spent scraping off all the loose paint did not complete the task, and so there are patches of bare wood, stretches of new board (and gee I hope pressure-treated lumber takes paint), and hints of primer all over. It's not pretty, but I think the house feels better for having all that itchy dead paint taken off of it, much the same way as a car feels better when it's clean, or dishes are more comfortable when they're stacked correctly.

Y'all know what I mean.

And once the house gets that coat of paint, and a new buttery yellow trim thang going on, well, it'll feel like the belle of the block.

Unless the TH is a boy house, in which case it'll feel like a superhero or something.


It's time to git, and so I'm gittin'. Have yourselves a great day. Monday! Again!

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