Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Turning out the pockets of my mind

First, an answer to "how did you get strikethrough font in yesterday's post?"

I used Word to compose the post. I have no idea if Blogger even allows for creation of struckthrough font. If you don't know how to do that in Word, it's easy. Just type up your post, select the text you want to be struck through, and from the "format" menu choose "font" and then check the box that says "strikethrough." There's even a cool "double strikethrough" for all y'all what as don't believe that a single strike is sufficient.

Here's a graphical representation of what my screen looks like when I'm in the font formatting mode (click to embiggen):

Lotsa cool little buttons to push n' stuff, huh? For all y'all nervous Nellies out there, don't worry if you push the wrong button, because that's what the Undo function is for! Go ahead, play! Explore! Wheeee!!!

OK - I'm sure that the really awesome and very cool and highly way more edumacated-than-me bloggers out there who use online editing toolz can offer up other suggestions, but for me Word works because I know how to use it.


Second, what would you do if, while you were falling asleep, you felt a something crawling on your arm that didn't feel very much at all like your cat, but instead felt rather smaller and more eight-leggedy?

If you were me (which would be weird because then who would I be?), you'd brush the unknown crawly thing off your arm in an allfired hurry, THEN turn on your bedside light to see where it went, and when it become apparent that it didn't "go" very far at all but instead is still in your bed, with several of its multiple legs still waving, albeit in a somewhat disorganized fashion that MIGHT be a death twitch, you'd squick right the hell on out because it still might be able to crawl and then you'd think "OMG where is the toilet paper" so you can get a hunk of it to grab the almost-but-not-quite dead crawly thing in preparation for the final flushing.

And when you found out that the ONE crawly thing was instead TWO crawly things that, to all appearances, were using your arm as a platform for coitus, you'd probably then almost puke and then shiver all over and then wonder if that wet spot on your sheets that you THOUGHT was spider guts was not spider guts at ALL but was instead spider sperm, and then you'd wonder if stripping your bed and washing the sheets to rid them of one tiny pinhead sized drop of arachnid jizz is reasonable behavior.

You would do these things, if you were me.


Second and a half-ly:

I did not wash the sheets. I put a towel over the mystery wet spot and went back to sleep.

If, in a month or so, it becomes apparent that I'm pregnant with the progeny of an accidental arachnid/human mating due to migration of certain mystery wet-spot components to my aging uterus, PLEASE do NOT hum "Hello My Treacherous Friends" to me over the phone as I spin a web in the corner of my room in preparation for the imminent arrival of my hundreds of babies.

I will not be in the mood for it.


Thirdly: My hair is now long enough to french braid and to put in a ponytail without too many shortie frontal pilial escapees. This makes me happy.


Fourthly, and finally:

Try not to think about your tongue. Have a nice day.

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