Well, here's TMI

Ah, the internet, where long-lost talents of gifted persons from days gone by are unearthed and aired out for us to admire, be horrified by, or a combination of the 2.

An example:  Le Petomane.

A man who could CAPTURE and then release wind at will, in many amusing and various tones and timbres, through which legions of Parisians (and visitors) found much enjoyment.

What a career that would be.  One for which I am well-suited, I'm not embarrassed to say.

My 'talent' has never been in eager demand, but I do amuse myself with it, as I suspect most people do.  I abide by my Grandmother's admonishment "wherever you be, let your wind flow free, for that my dear was the death of me."  She was wise, my Grandmother, at least in the ways of bodily functions.

Now, lest you think I'm just randomly and at will releasing the hounds, so to speak, I do not.  Restraint and respect for people are high on my list of Things to Be and Do, so I will use the power of sphincters to wait until a seemly time to practice my art, sometimes in great pain to do so.  For my talents come through natural means, not those to the Great Performer mentioned about who retrograded his gaseous supply.  Sure, he had talent, but really, true talent comes from within, and well kids, I have that talent.

OhyesIdo.

It's been said (here, for one) that most people release one-half a liter of gas a day through the nether regions.  Well, MOST people are flat-out amateurs!  It takes real skill to have reached MY level, I will tell you!  And that's only from what I know about the daytime issues.  Heaven, and Biff, knows what goes on overnight.  Half a liter.  Child's play, a weak effort!  Pssssh.

Literally.

Anyhow, it's really great what the internet will remind you of, guide you into finding more about, give you a gauge against which to measure yourself, and then allow you to brag about, isn't it?

Dear Lord I hope so.

Billowingly yours,
Tiff.