A few points, before things get too dull

Go see 'Avatar' in 3D. Who cares if you can forecast the story line in the first hour? It's exciting, gorgeous, entrancing.

Plus which, naked alien heineys! Woot!

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We bought a humidifier a couple of weeks ago. Worked great for 1 week, then started making gravelly, rattly noises the clearly were signaling that something was horribly wrong.

And so?

Biff took it back and got a better one, for less money.

!!!! Took.It.Back. The concept floors me.

I would have just took the old one to Goodwill and bought a whole new one, because I am not a fan of the retuning of things and just hate for people to think I wasn't happy with their product, even if they do suck. Obviously, I need to buy me a quart of spine.

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Also? It's possible to return a used waffle maker.

I KNOW! Who would have guessed it? Not me. The one we got three days ago was not producing mile-high waffles a la 'the second best hotel you ever stayed at that served breakfast in the lobby', and so it too was returned.

USED. Again - !!!!!

The store took it back, and daggone if we're not the possessers of a new fancy-azz flippy-aroundy waffle maker that should provide hours of entertainment, rather akin to a Snuggli, or Garden Weasel.

What? Things are slow around here. A new waffle maker might just make the cover of our local paper, if I make the right calls, such is the rampant excitement.

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And because of the new waffle maker, right now we're (Biff is) poring over waffle recipes, deciding which one will get the honor of being the test batch for tomorrow's breakfast.

This is the moment that you realize with a pang that you wish you were me. Envy all you like, my friends, but it takes a stout countenance to withstand the onslaught of adrenalin this life demands in order to keep up with the fast-breaking speed of change and challenge. For you, I live it first then report it here, so that you can vicariously experience Life in the Fast Lane.

Surely, it will make you lose your mind.

Ah - I'm being called to consult on the perfect seasoning oil for the new appliance. Must dash!