Lending a Hand

It's really cool to get a text message from a friend who is travelling that says that they would very much like to stick sharp implements into the people that surround them.

Also cool is being able to respond that while DOING such sticking might be wrong, THINKING about it is not, and might be an actual comfort.

I like to help people, it's what I do.

Oh, some might call me an instigator, or Devil's Advocate, but I prefer to think of myelf as a facilitator of desire. Really! There must be a job like that! Someone says "I'm so mad I could just scream," why then my thought is that the only proper answer is to say "go right ahead!" Someone fantasizes about impaling the relatives with flatware during a long visit, I say "fill out the details in your mind, listen to their imaginary screams, feel the rage just melt away."

It is important to note that I would NEVER condone anyone actually DOING something illegal. Daydreaming about it should be enough. Why, the very thought of your mortal enemy (you do have one, don't you? If not one of those, then at least a nemesis?) getting smooshed under the giant drum of a steam roller, complete with bugging-out eyes and purply pressurized skull, should enough to make you giddy with glee, and it doesn't harm ANYONE! The mental image of a droning lecturer getting sucked under some quicksand that just HAPPENED to appear on stage, right behind the lectern, where the bore is taking up space and breathing everyone else's air, is evil and naughty, but also fun and disarming enough to keep the imaginer from falling asleep or seething with rage that they'd wasted yet another hour of their life on someone else's brain farts.

So yeah, I'm all about the enabling of rage, the venting of steam, the boiling of blood, as long as it's done safely and with a minimum of harm to someone else.

Even if it IS your motal enemy.

Do you agree?