Holy Mother of Pearl!

Be it Friday already?

If it is, ARE YOU READY KIDS?

Aye-aye Tiff!

Ooooooooohhhhhhh------

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Dubai Port Deal Is Delayed Over Protest

Frankly, I'm not sure I'd even LIKE a fortified wine that's NOT made in England, so I can understand the protests.


20 Calif. Students Suspended Over Web Site

No news of when they're going to be cut down.


Peru, Mexico Finds Hint at Women's Roles

Or, more properly -Archeological finds from Peru and Mexico suggest what the roles of women might have been in ancient civilizations in those countries.

Otherwise, one could read this to mean something like this:

Peru and Mexico, good friends since childhood, were out for a stroll one night on the playa, when Peru said to Mexico, "What ho! What's all this then?" and leant over to pick up a fluttering piece of parchment that was impaled on the snow-white rib of a burro skeleton. "I say," said Mexico,"if I'm not grossly mistaken, that looks like some sort of handwriting! Dash it all, I can't see a thing without my spectacles, though, and this print is dreadfully small. Read it for us, Peru old chap, won't you?" Peru obligingly removed his pocket torch and shone it on the dusty parchment, squinting mightily at the faded writing. Presently, and after much brow-knitting (in his charmingly academic manner) he began to recite what he could deduce from the tattered sheet. "It says here, dear fellow, something about auditioning for "Maude" or "Alice." I wonder what the deuce that's all about?"

Well, one COULD read it that way, you know.


Blanco Wrong on Levees, Video Indicates

I should say so! They'd look much nicer in a crisp blue toile.


Study Shows Babies Try to Help

Why they sure DO, the precious little darlings! They try to help you find the limits of your patience, your tolerance of noise, your necessary sleep levels, and your pain threshold. Why, they try to help you in so very very many ways, they surely diddly diddly do, the wittle snookums!


Star demands Playboy pull issue with her on cover

Please God, let them NOT be talking about Star Jones.

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And there you have it - all the news that's fit to mangle, right here on TIFF teevee!