Love and romance and all that mushy stuff

Nope - you won't find them here.

Nossir. I want to be in the cool crowd of kids and admit RIGHT NOW that I don't much care for the Valentine's Day onerousness of forced husbandly affection.

(But I do like the roses he sent me.

From several states away.)

Anyhow, I'm NOT in favor of women EXPECTING to be treated like queens for this day, UNLESS they come across with the goods for their man (or woman, as the case may be) as well.

And I think we all know what I'm talking about.

Honey, you can't take the roses and candy and dinner and lovey-smoochy-snookums-ing without having to "give a little back." You DID know that, didn't you?

No?

Girlfriend, you're lyin' if you say you thought you'd get away clean with being the recipient of all that attention without having to dole out a little in return. Don't play ME like that. NO, ma'am, you cannot. You KNOW you need to show that man a little of what he wants, oh yes you do!

It's that "responsive giving" that I think needs to go.

It's time for a change!

Ladies, it's time to turn the tables on this thing. Let's take this whole rather embarrassing precept of V-Day being all about us GIRLS and spin its candylicious message around.

I say let's give our men what they want, without them having to ask!

Let's SHOW them we know what they want, without them having to wait for it!

Let's walk right up to them, stare them right in the eye, and boldy declare our intentions for them.

Say it with me, sisters!

"Baby, here's $20. Go get drunk."