Friday, January 09, 2015

In up to my hips (7)

(Listen to this while you read.  No, I don't know why)

Late last year, when I was clearly delusional, I allowed someone to volunteer me to be an SOP author for BigCo.  Didn't seem so difficult, until The Meetings started.  Once a week, people from all over the world were gathering to talk about the One Change that would have a very high impact not only on my new SOP, but also on a whole host of other SOPs, guidances, templates, instructions, accessory documents, and likely the orbit of the Earth around the Sun.

Things got really complicated after that.

Just yesterday, for example, after going through a presentation I'd already sat through once, the realization dawned on my that the SOP update that's just been approved is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT from what the subject of these meetings are, and that I now have about 3 months what it took the previous team 18 months to do.

A minor side note: I have never done an SOP for BigCo before.  Surely this combination of ignorance and the tight timeline will result in a high-quality suite of documents that will be nothing but a shining beacon of assistance to those in need.

Will keep you posted as exciting events continue to develop.


On Monday, I will meet with some folks to talk about how to address a confusing issue that I'm sure nobody remembers anything about since we've all been on a year-end break for a couple of weeks.  I intend to foist as much of the worky stuff off on the guy who will just be returning to work that day, because what's a 'welcome back!" without a little 'here's a big pile of stuff we need you to do, and soon, because now our timelines have tightened up considerably if we want to get this bad boy out the door when it's supposed to go.'

Instant panic.  Welcome to your new bellyache, my friend.


One last little piece of news:  I was sitting around with a couple of other folks today here at the office, and we were chatting about how all our lives are going to change drastically this year due to certain business changes, and someone not me remarked at how they thought it was odd that the CEO of our company hasn't uttered a word about it either internally or externally.  Not a word.

His end-of-year message though, I thought, was particularly thoughtful.  The title?  'Stay the Course.'

That's right, peons!  Just keep working like you aren't fully aware that we have shaken out the corporate carpet and YOU are the dust that is flying from it!  Don't be distracted by the ground moving under your feet or the distinct whistle of doom rocketing toward you, just turn out those widgets until such time as your ID badge doesn't work anymore!  Toodle pip, dearies, I'm off to go bathe in champagne and order a new set of unicorns, I'm so stressed by thinking about how shattered you must all be!

Stay the Course, indeed.  While Rome burns, I will stay the course.  While the demon clown of job change nears, with the rank stench of the spoiled meat of my career oozing from its pores, I will stay the course.  While my stomach roils with anxiety and my heart skips a beat in a lurching crazy response to uncertainty, you can be sure I'll stay the course.

I have an SOP to write, after all.


What have some management blunders been in your life?  Surely BigCo can't be the only place that reflects such boorish assessments of what's important.  Do tell us all about it, and have a wonderful weekend.

Tiff out.


kenju said...

Standard operating procedure? Some office politics?

tiff said...

Correct on the first try!

LL said...

I'd tell you all the tales of management blunders but... well... then I wouldn't have anything to write about over at the End of the World...

Well... that and now I'm the manager so...

BTW, why are there numbers in the title? It's getting distracting...