Tuesday, March 27, 2012

I am TOO signed in, you pusilanimous reject of a postmodern bellweather

I have been subject to one of the most humiliating experiences ever to befall a thinking person, or indeed an subthingperson, or maybe a very clever bonobo/chimp, therefore anyone who tries to freaking get gas in their car nowadays and choose to do so via a discount card at their local groceria-cum-gas vendor.

It was humilating. I was beaten, and badly. How to say this? .....

Y'all, I was dumped by a MACHINE.

Oh, things started off well enough. I sidled up to a pump with my receiving side ready to open up and take a gusher of fuel right down the ol' tankpipe, like ye do. Stepped out, wielding rewards card and credit card (like a baws!), but was stopped DEAD IN MAH TRAX by a stupid kiosk o' gas that wouldn't recognize my stupid dang rewards card, for NOTHING, no matter how much I flaunted and waved it and flirted it about the wobblering laser eye of recognition, so I broke up with that pump and moved on to the next.

And lo, there was promise with this next pumper o' goodness. It RECOGNIZED MY CARD! Glory! I heard my call for cheap-er gas, got excited, and thus I was so excited that I input 1 too many numbers on the 'what is your zip code' question and got rejected. By the SECOND machine.

Not one to be easily dissuaded, I kept on with the second machine, knowing that it loved me, really, because it recognized my card and so at least had my number (not like that swine machine 1). I restarted, reimaged the rewards card, reswiped the credit card, punched in the right amount of digits on the zip code (yay!), and then accidentally smooshed the 'high test' button with the butt end of the gas delivery handle thingie, which I did not want to do, thus having to back out of the transaction by pushing the cancel button.

At which point the kiosk (BITCH!) told me it had shut off and I needed to see the attendant.

And I did. And she was helpful.

And we did go back to the pump, reinput the info, then see that the pump thought I had no rewards because I accidentally had activated the card without pumping anything at ALL, so she had to call the store, they had to reinstate my rewards (5 cents a gallon!), she had to give me the high sign, and then....THEN, I could pump the 75 bucks worth of gas into the hold that would power us through yet another week.

All in all, I was at the gas station for 25 minutes.

Actual gas-pumpery was 3 minutes of that. Standing in the afternoon sun of a glorious NC Spring day was the other bit.

*Attitude change*


*ticks head left, then right. smacks self upside recently-ticked head for being so stupid as to not notice glorious Spring day.*


Announcement....in a very nice posh velvety voice...

Sometimes, it's nice to have your time hijacked from you when there's nothing else to do but just bask in the sun and take your time waiting, for something. On such a fine afternoon there's almost nothing better than to have your time wasted for you, you know?

I sure hope you do.

Right-minded announcement over.


Do tell about your moments of serendipity, if you have had them. ESPECIALLY if you've been stupidly mad right before they happened.

I know how you feel. It's OK. Love you!


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