Thursday, August 12, 2010

and then, I was 6 feet underwater

If I could do today over, I would.

Never mind that we're Satan's Taint Adjacent around here, as hot as it's been. This is NC in AUGUST, and manohman is it ever hot here. There's never been an unseasonably cool August as long as I've been here, and this is my 6th one in this fair state. Nope, August is nothing but hot hot hot in the Piedmont.

It is a source of regional pride, I think. How many days can we break 100 in the heat index? Let's go for ALL OF THEM! Woohoo! It was 96 today, with a heat index of 110.

110. Breathe that in like a shunt straight out of a dogs mouth...

110. Just like yesterday.

And what, might you ask, does one DO when the heat index is 110 degrees, which is of course the recommended temperature for baking one's brain?

One helps one's spouse build a deck, of course. You LOVE your spouse, right? In sickness and in health, for better or for worse? Well, chickies, 110 degrees on the old heat index is a fair definition of 'worse,' and thus I found myself in a position of performing my marital duties (not that kind, you perve) on 2 of the hottest summer afternoons the Triangle has yet cooked up.

It might be that I am a bit bored at work right now, and welcome even the WORST of diversions. This might explain my alacrity at offering my unable assistance at the job site. Even so, you cannot disclaim my adherence to support of Mah Mayun, boredom take the hindermost. Boredom makes people do dumb stuff, like get married to the wrong person (explains my first go-round, unfortch) or invent elaborate rituals regarding irons and the putting away thereof.


So, I'm all supporty and half crazy, apparently. But, BUT!!! Even though I think the few hours spent in the heat ohmyGODTHEHEAT these past couple of days has probably enriched my chances at premature senility about 10-fold, and even though I felt sick and dizzy and hour into the ordeal today, there were a few bright sides:

  • I got to work at home the majority of the past 2 days. Hello, ratty sweatshirt and holey shorts!!
  • I got to spend time with the Biffster and suffer right along with him in the OHMYGODTHE HEAT and was party to watching this dude sweat and struggle and suffer and create in stoic nature, even when a lesser man might have not shown up to work at all because of, well, you know....
  • I got to use power tools, if by that you mean a drill.
  • I got to go to the most awesome Holding Park Pool after work with Biff and Thing 1 (Thing 2 said he 'had too much homework,' which amazes me but there ya go), the first minute of which was a soul-feed of epic proportion. Hallo, delicious water!! The other 90 minutes was pure floatyness, with a few bouts of diving board and water slide thrown in for good measure. Then, while Biff went to the bank, Mr Thang and I goofed around until the final whistle blew, at which time we started the mile or so walk home, at which time - -
  • I got to explain 401Ks to him. And you know what? He gets it. Asked clarifying questions, put up a couple of 'what ifs,' and hmmm'ed alot as I explained corporate matching, investment vehicles, and loan paybacks. Now, I must be fair, we also talked about what the worst hurt would be if you had to walk a long distance barefoot (because we were), and the going price of houses for sale in the neighborhood, so it wasn't all cerebral crap. But still, those 20 minutes with him before Biff picked us up on his way back home were a lot of fun and really helped put him in new light for me. He's growing up fast, so those little chunks of time here and there mean the world to me. Plus which, with a little coaching, the kid could have a killer backstroke. *Grin*
  • Then, I got to come home, and despite having to once again attempt to eradicate the stupid daggone motherfrumping FLEAS from the house with a dash of vacuuming, a spot of sweeping, and a smidgen of spraying, am now watching Biff at the stove cooking up beans and rice and meat (a three-layer dish, it's complicated) while I write these little inanities to you.

See, I'd bet you'd totally do this day over too. Once you lived through the OHMYGODTHEHEAT part, that is. Pain with the pleasure, is what it is. Or, to put it as previously stated, for better or for worse...110 degree heat index being the 'worse' part, fo sho.

Now it's time for a cocktail, a shower, and a period of family hangout time while we wait until the new Futurama which comes on at 10.

Tiff out.

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