Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Is it the cooties?

So, the Biffster and I go to this church that we think is really cool and is full of cool people and has opportunities to do a lot of cool things like eat Panera breads and drink coffee on Sunday mornings while hanging out in a movie theater and also maybe be a part of a small group of folks who meet outside the regular Sunday morning time to talk about God stuff. No, honest, that’s pretty cool! Well, I think it’s cool, because normally on Sunday my mouth is too full of delicious bagel to say a whole lot, and there’s also all the singing and sermonizing going on, sometimes with video and always with a drum set so a separate time to chat is always welcome.

It’s a dang cool church.

But…I have a problem with one aspect of this church, and it's that whole small group thing. See, I totally dig talking Big Issues and Bible stuff, because it’s all pretty much new to me despite me being raised in church because I didn’t really listen back then so nothing really stuck. Except of course that whole “God is love” thing which I totally get and completely adore because hi! It’s simple! But slavish devotion to one overarching mantra isn’t the whole picture, it doesn’t tell the whole story, and it doesn’t speak at all to how we go about dedicating ourselves to a life of taking next steps and finding fulfillment in an atmosphere of struggle and humanity.

That was one hell of a sentence. I hope you get my drift, which is that the small group meetings are a great time to pick apart messages, dig around and do a little factual archeology, debate points and explore using the wisdom and knowledge of the other people in the group to begin to create a foundation of insight on which to plant a foot for whatever next step there might be. So far, I’ve been really happy with the discussions, and gratified that people don’t get too frustrated with my constant ‘but WHY is it like that?” or 'but WHY and ephod? Why not a nice brooch instead?' or “why a burning bush? What’s THAT all about? If Moses supposes the bush it is talking, won’t his millions of minions just start a-walking?”

At least I don’t THINK I’ve frustrated the folks in our small group. Perhaps I have, because it seems like it’s a struggle sometimes to get people to come to the meetings, even though there’s always coffee and usually a yummy treat to go with all the seeking of mysteries. Could it be me? Could I be so annoying that people just quit coming, because being aggravated by some noob who asks ignorant questions shakes the cage of their faith?

I sure hope not, but anything is possible. Great Scott! If that’s the case, the Biff is a strong and patient man, being as how he’s never once told me afterward to please STFU and just let the big dawgs have their say. Truly, sometime I feel like a hillbilly at a ball at these small group things, and I KNOW I’ve over-shared, but dang – I’d hate to think that it’s ME chasing folks off.

Like last night. At 6:30 the doors open, and by 7 we’re scheduled to start digging in. Except last night? Nada. Nobody. We did get calls from 3 folks to announce they weren’t coming, and called the fourth who admitted to needing to stay home to continue to heal from an injury. With our 2 habitual no-shows a pretty sure bet to not show again, we shut the front door and proceeded to decide what else to do with our night.

So, instead of discussing this week’s message (which was a DOOZY and didn’t really even make me mad though I expected it to once I figured out where our pastor was going with it), I went grocery shopping. Doesn’t exactly fulfill the intellectual and spiritual seeking need, but it did put lunch in the larder, so I suppose it’s all for the good.

Next week, maybe we’ll have a full house. That way at least a full pot of coffee won’t go to waste.

In the meantime, I’mma go inspect myself for cooties and practice holding my tongue. I’ll be the cross-eyed gal in the corner who is bleeding slightly from the mouth, if you need me.



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