Thursday, October 09, 2008

Mad for the plaid

This is almost too much fun. Design your own tartan! Gobble up huge chunks of time messing about with colors and color order and thread counts!!

Shall I show you mine? Yes, yes I shall. I made about a million of them (slight exaggeration. Prolly only like 999,990), and then hit on the idea of doing one in my 'blog colors' of red, yellow, blue, and white. Fooled around with that for a while, and came up with two I like:

I'm thinking of making one or the other of these the background at NAY once I get over the solid-color fetish I got going on. But which one? Anyone have an opinion or would like to take the opportunity to influence the look of this dark and shabby little coroner of the webosphere? If so, speak up in the comments, wont you?

Once you've created your very own personal tartan of awesomeness (because I know you will), you can pretend you're striding over the great Lands of Scot decked out in it. Feel the pride in your loins as the great cloth of your imagination swirls about your legs, sending shivers of freedom up your spine as the cool damp air of the moors climbs your thighs and licks at your netherbits, which are of COURSE uncovered as is the tradition.

Mmmm, kilts.

Oh! Extra coolness is that you can not ONLY make your own tartan, but then, if you so choose, you can have a bunch of it MADE for you in the fabric of your choosing! How frigging cool is THAT? When does the average Jane or Joe get to design their own fabric? You could use it to actually MAKE a kilt (ladies, unless you're a highland dancer you're not really supposed to, being as how they're attire for war and such, but who am I to tell you what to do?). Beware, they're fussy things though, the kilt. All those pleats and folds and buckles and sporrans and such. Makes making one rather a production, even if it IS in a tartan of your design.

So maybe you could use the fabric of intense magnificence to cover your couch, or, better yet, create the most basic and historic of Highland wear, the great kilt. No sewing required! Just a belt to fasten the plaid (the 'plaid' in Scots meaning a blanket, and not a weaving pattern), make a couple of adjustments, and off you go! How easy!!

Wait - this looks even easier, and involves a bed. Whee! I like any clothing that must be put on using a bed. Except tight jeans, and really, they require a floor. And a friend. And possibly lube. Clothing that requires lube to put on is not coming near my wardrobe, but of course you already KNEW that.

Great kilts seem so....great. I wonder, though, would a great kilt fit in my all-ninja wardrobe? Let's see - it's loose, flowing, probably almost noiseless, so I'd say yes. Plus which, the cool factor is not to be denied.

Wheels are turning, y'all, and turning fast. If you happen to see a tall red-headed woman in a great swaddle of tartan striding down the street of Ye Olde Wake Foreste, you'll know who it is. I invite you to join this movement. Go, buy your self 4 yards of fabric and a belt, and get to kilting! Sweet freedom from bifurcation and chafing! So cool you'll FEEL it.

And have a wonderful day.


Hey Thing 1! Happy 13th birthday! I love you.

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