Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Made me laugh

This did.

From, of course.

There's a pretty good crop of them there today. Go check it out, have a bit of a laugh, and get back to work, you buncha crazy kids!


But before you do, these few tidbittles:

There is such a thing as archetypical British teeth. I saw them yesterday.


Combine those teeth with some Alfred E Newman ears and a bobbling Adam's apple, and it's hard to know where to look when you're having a 1-on-1 (or F2F in biznazz speak)meeting with the possessor of such physical points of interest.

It's a darned good thing the afflicted gentleman is very nice and has lovely eyes. Made the question of where to focus pretty much a no-brainer. But still....those teeth.

God I hope nobody at my company reads this blog.


When half your closet falls off the wall, you have the chance to see what the previous homeowners, who put UP the closet system, believed was adequate handyness.

I have done the evaluation and it is apparent that the previous homeowners of the Tiny House must have believed a Smidge is plenty enough handyness to go around, because anyone who puts up a closet rail and shelves by firmly anchoring them in nothing but DRYWALL has their head shoved halfway up their nether regions and are huffing ass gas.

Anyone who has moved knows that clothes are heavy. By correlation then, a fully laden closet rail is extremely heavy. This 'heavy' needs to be supported by something other then a 5/8" sheet of drywall, even if you DO use mollies (drywall anchors, whatever), which they did not. All the heavy is eventually going to impinge mightily on the ability of the bottom screws of the brackets holding up the closet rod, forcing them further into the drywall, until the sheer force exerted by the weight of the clothes on those screws proves too much for the TOP screws to hold up against, and that's the point at which things go "sproing!" and the brackets, rod, shelves and all your clothes come a-tumblin' down.

It's a surprising noise to hear at at 6 a.m.



One other thing before I go - the same homeowner mentioned above is the one who must have ascribed to the aphorism "there no hole too big to be caulked."

Forget fine carpentry. Forget plumb and level. Forget screwing something into place tightly, just slop a great huge gob of caulk in the hole and walk away.

This is the same man whose wife was so proud of his handy skillz that she couldn't stop gushing about them as I was doing the prepurchase walkthrough. The same man, I'm sure, who designed a set of deck stairs with rises of 3 inches, then 6, then another 6, then 8 or so, then another 3. The same man who believed that toenailing the deck posts into the decking was solid enough construction (it's not), and that no bathroom really NEEDS a fan or a window that can open (they do, for obvious reasons).

So I'm not surprised at the whole closet thing. Miffed, but not surprised. Not really.


All rightie kids, with that little peek into the gut-wrenchingly unenviable life of Tiff, I leave you to go fend to myself in the corporate jungle. Watch your backs, and have a great day.

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