Monday, February 25, 2008

Stop me from killing him

My cube neighbor FARTED right the hell out loud today.

That's right...he FAR-TED.

Not even the "oops!" kind of fart either. It was purposeful. I HEARD HIS CHAIR CREAK just prior to the fart. He leaned over in his chair and outgassed. He launched an air biscuit! He stepped on a the proverbial duck! At work! Right next to ME! Into my BREATHING AIR!!

He KNEW he had to fart, he KNEW I was over here, and let it rip anyhow!

I just about leapt over the partition and ripped HIM something...

Gods! As if the sighing, the chewing, the bag rustling, the slurping, the burping, or the LOUD PERSONAL PHONE CALLS weren't bad enough, we now have the farting. It cannot be abided (abode?).

See below for a helpful schematic of my "office," which might explain why I am getting rather frustrated by this person's personal functions. He is in my space, people.

I think I'd prefer to be told to move to the basement, if you must know.

I miss my office. So.Very.Much.

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