Thursday, February 28, 2008


Said I was gonna write a wordsmiths story for today.

No can do, peepies. No.Can.Do. Teh krazy has broken out here at work so there's not much time here, and I'm still in the midst of trying to move all my crap back INTO the bedroom after the paint job so there's not much time there, which leaves only mornings to write stories, and while I like the idea of rising early to hunch over a glowing computer screen as the words flow from my fingertips into posterity, I just can't seem to get out of bed in enough time to do much more than the triple S plus coffee. I don't even dry my HAIR before I leave the house, for Pete's sake; how am I supposed to write a story too?

Perhaps tomorrow. Maybe.


I was talking with a friend this morning who said that his stomach had just made a noise "like a surf guitar solo."

That is some funny shit, right there.


I totally love the new colors in mah bedroom, and the new re-arrangement of furniture that now makes it looks like a retreat rather than a dumping ground. Who new that puttin' a little feng shui mojo on the domicile could make such a gigantic difference?

There are houses all over my neighborhood that have been stripped down to the barest of bones and rebuilt to their original style. Many of these houses are lived in by artists, and therefore are painted all KINDS of bright, festive, Caribbean colors, both inside and out. I am a fan of that kind of color scheme, but when it came to choosing colors for my OWN room, things went far more dietary. The color on the fireplace wall (that also serves as my headboard) and below the chair rail is "Mocha." The trim is "Swiss Almond." The color above the chair rail and on the THREE doors in the room is a breakout from the edible colors; it's "Sand." The combination of dark below, light above, and pale yellow on the trim is like wrapping myself up in a Big Blankie of Chocolate/Nougatty goodness. Mmmmmmmm, nougat.

Obviously, my inner rastafarian can't compete with my love of sweets.

Plus which, the new color scheme in the bedroom now plays all matchy-match with most of the rest of my house, which is done in something like Guilden's Spicy Brown in the living room, and a brick n' guilden's checkered wallpaper in the kitchen. In those rooms, white trim abounds. Things got a little wild in the bedroom though with the Swiss Almond trim color. I know. It's shocking. What would the neighbors think?

Oh yeah - they're artists. They live in purple houses with cranberry-colored living rooms and cobalt kitchens. With shiny-hard dangly fixtures over their large kitchen islands. With stencilled floors and lilac walls. With rooms the colors of a bag of Jolly Ranchers, bright and primary and zingy enough to keep a fair shock of nerves jangled. Their houses simply vibrate energy.

The Tiny House, on the other hand, exudes warmth (here I was going to say "like a dairy barn," but then didn't say that because dairy barns nowadays are antiseptic and harsh, not at all like the old wooden barn I was thinking of, in which Farmer Brown milks the cows by hand and maybe shoots a jet of warm milk into an eager kitten's mouth from time to time while bits of hay chaff float through sunbeams and the smell of everything organic is a gentle assault...though maybe I interior-decorated that a touch more than is strictly necessary in my Kincaidian rhapsody, for which I should be taken out back and forced to turn in my highlighting brushes and fancy imagination. So, not like a dairy barn.), like a small English pub on a damp night, like a vast velvet cape, like a long hug from someone you love, like sunset at the beach on a hot August Thursday.

Yep - just like that.


Now what color shall I paint the bathroom? It's the last bastion of "whee!" color in the house, and the mint-green of it has never been a favorite of mine. Nor, quite frankly, is the harvest gold tub with the cracks in it, but I'm not all about the affording of a new tub right now, so it stays.

So too, unfortunately, does the god-awful fake marble vanity top in shades of greens that remind me of egg drop soup swirled into weak lime jello....with a chipped faucet on top as the ultimate in white trashliness. It's a terrible bathroom, with a GREAT new floor done up in lovely stone-lookin' brown tile, and I now NEED something on the walls the de-emphasizes the awful bits while pumping up the floor's glamour. Yes, with a "U."

Got any idears? Help a sister out, won't you?

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