Wednesday, March 28, 2007

In which I make a lot of wishes about things that have no relation to one another and yet somehow all came out of the same head

Firstly, may I just say that I think it would be really really cool to have magical powers? I would TOTALLY love to be able to wave my wand (or, better yet, my BARE HAND) at a toilet brush and have it start swishing away all the doom and gloom under the rim, or point pointedly at the pots and pans in the sink and get them to commence to being vigorously warshed by a levitating brush, or to flash jazz hands at my bed and have it snap to perfectly-made perfection in a trice.

Just a spoonful of sugar! Look! All done!

That scene in the (second?) Harry Potter movie, in which our boy HP himself visits Ron's House, and the dishes are doing THEMSELVES in the sink is, to my mind, one of the most powerful scenes in the whole movie. Mind-boggling! Using magicks for everyday chores!

Imagine! There's a spell for "dishes do themselves"! I wonder what it is....could it be:

PLATUS WASHO! or......



One wonders. That last one might be good for a whole-house sparkling, really.


I also think it would be cool to have a teleporter.

Like Wonkavision, only without the shrinking part.

Y'all might not know this about me, but I LOVE to drive. I like getting behind the wheel and just taking off.....something about a long drive settles my brain, forces me to take things one step at a time, to relax. You can't get there any faster by rushing, because that's 1) unsafe, 2) agitating, and 3) possibly criminal.

That being said, my love for long drives in the car stops somewhere around hour 4, when my butt goes numb. After that happens it's just a tedium of seat-shifts to try to bring feeling back, unexpected rest stops to stretch the legs, and a mounting desire to have done with the relaxing already and just GET THERE.

So, a teleporter would be nice.

I'd take a transporter also, in case we're fresh outta the tele-kind.


Lastly, I'm really hoping that someone someday creates "instant motivation." I could do with some of that.

I have a project due today that I've been dorking around with for the last WEEK, and it's come down to this: I got up at 4:30 this morning to cram the last of the bits and pieces together to have it ready to deliver at noon.

Even if I'd worked on it all week it wouldn't have been enough time. I left approxiamtely one quarter of it to do until today.
The day that it's due. 2 days of work to do in half a day.

I ALWAYS do this. Always. I have kicked myself in the ass so many times for this that I should be black and blue, or at least have learned my lesson. But. No. No lesson.

This horrific bent toward procrastination is probably why I enjoyed "immediate" jobs so much - the bartending, the waiting tables, the lab work - they demanded attention to the task at hand, there was no putting things off until tomorrow, there was an expected result and productivity level expected for each and every day, and there was NO possibility of guilt trip for NOT doing your job, because NOT doing your job meant getting fie-erd. The daily plan was made, it was adhered to, and life was good.

All this "long-term project" stuff makes me nuts.

So, somebody please invent some instant motivation. I'll be your first and BEST customer.


And that's it for today. Must stop procrastinating and get back to the task at hand. Suh-NAP! The job's a game!

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