Friday, July 28, 2006

What is wrong with you people?


I was just now idly perusing my sitemeter stats, and made the egregious (nay, nearly heinous!) mistake of going to the "where did they COME from?" part, where a nice map pops up and shows from whence the last 10, 20, 50, or 100 visitors have come.

Like, geographically.

And HELLOOOO? South America? Africa, and ASIA? Where the heck ARE you?

Billions and billions of people out there NOT coming to my blog. What the heck is up with THAT?

Geez, it's not like they don't have computers all over the WORLD now, practically one in every hovel and shanty, or at least one in every impoverished hill village along those low brown currentless rivers I see on the plasma flatscreen when I watch National Geographic in HDTV.

There's a problem, here, and I shall get to the bottom of it if I have to leave my air-conditioned home and drive in my air-conditioned CD-playing car to my carpeted corporate office and ask every college-educated person THERE for their opinion. In writing! Even the womyn! Because here, at least they KNOW how to write; not like in those countries in which NOBODY comes to my blog.

Again, gah.

Every once in a while, somebody (or some people) do something on the interwebs that really tickles me. I intend to begin linking to these things on a regular basis, because, let's face it, it's really easy blog fodder and y'all just don't have enough to do and so need to fill your days with random links from a person (me!) most of you have never met.

You may thank me later. Or now. WhatEVs!

Today's linkification is to "Ask Hyperion and Tracy," on the
Hyperion Institute as well as on Kaply Inc., Tracy Lynn's site. I rationalize doing the linky thang because Hyperion gets people to visit his site from places like ASIA and SOUTH AMERICA (though, perhaps if I posted something about pimento loaf I might gets my OWN hits, eh Rennratt?), and Tracy Lynn is the object of affection for many a high-rolling interweb superpower, and through web bleed-through I figure I might just be able to ride those coattails to a few hits of my own.

Same way I'm going to ride
Trinamick's coattails to get the Midwest readers. Oh yes, yes I will!

The rest of y'all - your turn is coming, and I hope you don't mind.


If anyone is interested, there will be a "
worth 500 words" story challenge circulating around a few of us bloggers next week sometime.

If you're interested in joining in, even if you don't think you'd actually post your story (and why wouldn't you? What you do is so MUCH better than most of the dreck that's out there, you know it is, and this might JUST be your chance at the big time when some mover and shaker comes to visit your website and sees the genius that is your writing and offers you a huge contract which you of course negotiate higher until you've got 7 figures and a new Jaguar plus pool and pool boy (or girl!), that you should really consider joining in, because man, I want to be there when you get all famous and stuff so I can come over your house on the beach and eat sushi straight from the belly of an Asian chick, who coincidentally you hired becuase she started reading my blog, thus tying several loose strings together right smartly), comment me, or e-mail ( and you too can play along at home. Or work. Or by the banks of a low brown currentless river, if it so happens that way.


Hyperion said...

I wondered what was weighing my coat down.

Seriously, you need to get to the bottom of these Asian/African/South American sluggrds.

Maybe if you offered more stories where you kiss girls....

Rick said...

Nakedity. That's the key. Unless yer a middle-aged white guy. Nobody wants to see that.

Kingfisher said...

I've had an idea similar to this for a while.

Count me in on the 500 words o' crap.

rennratt said...

You already know this, but count me in for '500 words'. I will do my best not to write about lunch meat.

tiff said...

Hyper-ion - I no kissee da girlies! Lipstick taste yuck.

Rick - noobody wants to see middle-aged white ladies either...unless they're the "horny grandma" fans.


OK, Kingfisher - you didn't ask me to get naked OR to kiss a girl , so you're my new best internets friend forthe day. COngratulations!

Renn - you can write about insane burger waiters if ya wanna. No matter WHAT the picture is.

Tracy Lynn said...

Dude, stop schilling for that weasel Hyperion and start schilling for me. I promise not to ask you to get naked or kiss girls, although you may feel free to do those things if you wish, and there may be prizes! Or at least weird shit masquerading as prizes!

tiff said...

TL - OK - I'm changing the post to shill for you too, thus extending your web of power into the same small sphere of influence I have on the interwebs....becuase you deserve it!

Kingfisher said...


tiff said...

KF - Jeez, if that's what it takes, then I guess I'd better hurry up about it. As long as there are no pictures, we're cool.

tiff said...

Oh, and KF? Best interweb friend rights are hereby withdrawn.

Kingfisher said...

OK. But I ain't gonna withdraw. I'm staying to watch.

I promise not to bring a camera, but I will bring a box of tissues.

tiff said...

KF - you guys are all alike. Hyperion's got the BLKF diet, Rick brings up the nekkid, and now you're proposing to watch lesbian action.

I'm just not sure WHAT to think anymore.

Ladies, help me out here - what to do, what to do??