Monday, June 19, 2006

Random random random

On the radio this morning:
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"There's a backup in North Raleigh - apparently there's a fat man in a Speedo jumping on a trampoline in front of the Perkins."
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Imagine my disappointment that I was nowhere near that spot.
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Our younger son is now nicknaming us. I am Shelby. Our older son is Shelby #2.
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As an FYI - this is the kid who has recently been identified as being academically gifted. If his talents develop in this area, there's no telling what I'll be called next year.
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And yes, I answer to it.
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Remember that flap-doodle thing on the roof I mentioned a while back? It's doing it again. I'm tempted to get up there and start looking for something to stomp.
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In unpacking this weekend, I came across many many boxes of photos and "memories." I can't believe I was ever that young or that thin. Thank God for hair color, or I wouldn't be able to believe I was ever that blond, either.
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In many ways, it's hard to believe that so much time has elapsed on the "I used to" clock of my life. I am now firmly planted in my 40's, with a good 20 years of adulthood behind me, and yet I have only foggiest notion of how to act like an adult. Yeah, OK, I have the house and mortgage and bills and am investing and all that, but when do I start not feeling like I'm pulling a fast one with the whole "grown up" thing?
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What I really really want is to just go to summer camp and make keychains and take swimming lessons and sleep in a cabin and have someone else make my scrambled eggs in the morning and tell me when to go to bed and what time the camp store is open so I can get some Laffy Taffy and a Coke. I would LOVE to be a kid again, with strong legs and arms and back and have endless energy and boundless curiosity and dreams of flying.
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Sure would be nice.
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New cool invention - The "Kingsford Caddy," out just in time for Father's Day. Yes, it's like a big Tupperware for your charcoal, which is why it's cool, because once you've lost yet another bag of charcoal to a rainstorm you start to think that you need to get your act together and put the damn stuff away once you use it, but now you don't have to because the caddy will protect the charcoal!
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Woot!! One less thing to have to remember!
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I bought the kids some lacrosse sticks this weekend - and guess which kid took to the whole "catch the ball in the tiny net" thing right away?
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If you guess the boy who trips over thin air and can't be trusted not to spill a glass of milk and regularly runs into walls and furniture and has had fine motor control issues since he was a wee lad, you'd be right. Congratulations, you're a genius.
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Of course, this is also the kid who knows how to program the remote, run the DVD player, and mastered the GameCube controls in under 10 seconds, so I don't know why I'm surprised.
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The other boy? Apparently got his hand-eye coordination skillz from his mother.
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Poor lad.
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I learned this weekend that if I don't shut the blinds on our bedroom windows, the sun comes right in through the slats at about 5:15 a.m. onto our sleepy dreamy heads. I believe that this is a very wrong time indeed to be awake.
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Must. Find. Curtains.
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And lastly - try this the next time you make a pork roast - rub it lovingly (singing "Little Red Corvette" in your head to get you into the mood) with salt, pepper, garlic powder, cinammon, and onion powder, the plop it in a baking dish with about a half cup of water, and roast it in a 350F oven for a while. Let it sit for a half an hour, slice, and serve with pasta salad and lima beans (which have been cooked with salt and sugar until they're nice and soft).
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The choice of wine is yours.
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This meal will give you dreams of adventure and derring-do, which star a certain Mr. Johnny Depp and involve color-coded teams who are racing against other teams to capture a bad guy and his minions (also dressed in color-coordinated outfits) who are threatning to blow up a local quarry or something. I'm not entirely sure of the plot, because one Mr. Johnny Depp kept wanting to brush my long black hair and whisper secrets into my listening device, but I can assure you that being on the teevee team is better than being on the "back-up team." Better uniforms, you know.
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Try it yourself and see if I'm wrong!

13 comments:

Wordnerd said...

Ok, Shelby, I'll try that recipe. Damn, I wish you coulda got in front of the Perkins this morning!

tiff said...

WN - I almost detoured just to see it for myself.

Jess Riley said...

Ha! I'd have been disappointed to miss the Speedo incident as well.

tiff said...

JR - We'll just have to leave it to our imaginations, I guess. :>

rennratt said...

I am betting that the fat speedo man on the trampoline was a stunt (or lost bet). Probably from G105.

Was this at Perkins at Capital/440? [It's across the street from all of the Raleigh radio stations - including G105]

rennratt said...

Man, that pot roast recipe ROCKS! What kind of kool aid should I serve with it?

Chelle said...

Was there a picture or video on the news for the speedo man? I think this is something our Raleigh associates should be aware of just in case they need to go to Perkins or something....

rennratt said...

I KNEW it was a G105 stunt!
Click here (or cut and paste)

http://www.bobandtheshowgram.com/cc-common/feeds/view.php?feed_id=392&feed=/feed-local.html&instance=1&article_id=64712

WenWhit said...

I am so with you re: the desire to once again have strong arms and legs and back... not to mention energy. God, I miss energy.

That Kingsford Caddy sounds cool, but I have to tell ya: the empty (gargantuan-because-we-bought-it-at-Sam's) cat litter bucket I use serves nicely as a charcoal tub.

Go. Find. Curtains.

Deb R said...

According to my 67-year-old father, most people never really feel like a grown-up deep inside. :-)

I wonder if the spice rub would work for grilling pork chops? And if so, I wonder how it would change the dream. Hhhhmmm....

Beth said...

Bad cooks never know what "a while" is so there'll be people reading this blog with various diseases because of you. LOL

I had to laugh at the thin and blonde comments. I know exactly what you mean.

mr. schprock said...

"What I really really want is to just go to summer camp and make keychains and take swimming lessons and sleep in a cabin and have someone else make my scrambled eggs in the morning and tell me when to go to bed and what time the camp store is open so I can get some Laffy Taffy and a Coke. I would LOVE to be a kid again, with strong legs and arms and back and have endless energy and boundless curiosity and dreams of flying."

Oh man, I'm right behind you on that. If they can have a fantasy baseball camp, maybe somewhere there's a fantasy camp camp for over-age youngsters like us!

I used to always get a Slim Jim and a Sport Cola from the snack hut.

tiff said...

Renn - I'm afraid to click that link - my eyeballs don't need further scorching! Eeek! Also, try one of those color-changing Kool-aids with the pork roast....might lead to interesting results.

Wenwhit - well, see, you're smarter than I am, because I paid 15 bucks for the fool thing and you got yours for free! Smartie pants.

Debr - Your Dad gives me hope! Oh, and I'm thinking that grilled spiced pork chops would give you island-y dreams. Might be worth a try.

Beth - so right. I should have said "20 minutes a pound, or until your meat thermometer reads 160F." Daggone it. Well, eat enough badly prepared meat and one MIGHT become thin again from the purging. I think I just grossed myself out.

Mr S - I have read that there are indeed camps for grown-ups. It's my mission to find one, once all the boxes are unpacked. :> Mmmm, SlimJims!