Friday, February 24, 2006

Y'all ready for this?

You KNOW what happens on Fridays!



U.S. Wins Its First-Ever Medal in Curling

So, then I was all like, "God Stefanie, your hair looks GREAT! Like totally OLYMPICS great!" and she was all like "I know, it's insane! I just won a gold medal for curling!" Stefanie so totally rocks!

Americans work more, seem to accomplish less

I blame the internet.

NASA Detects 'Totally New' Mystery Explosion Nearby

"Astronomers have detected a new type of cosmic outburst that they can't yet explain." Y'all, this is a gimme - it's so obvious that Q is pissed. Look, there's even blood on his hands!

I expect a call from NASA at any moment.

Moussaoui Defense Complains Over Jury Pool

"God, Randall, I HATE this freaking trial and how long it's freaking TAKING!"

"I know what you mean, Biff, but how much complaining can we do when the balcony in our room gives us a smokin' view of the indoor pool? Those sequestered jurors have TOTALLY taken it over. Hey! Look! There's juror number 8; man is she HOTT!"

"10-4 on that one, dude, but you know, I'm partial to juror number 10. He's got FABULOUS delts!"

"Yeah, too bad they won't let us down there, we could totally tamper with THAT jury."

"Man, you're funny."

Orders for Manufactured Goods Tumble

And now, performing a new floor exercise routine, it's "Orders for Manufactured Goods." Ladies and gentlemen, I believe OMG is going to attempt a layout triple with a twist on the first pass following a 3-handsspring run,,,,,,and YES! He NAILS it!

Fossil Overturns Ideas of Jurassic Mammals

Boy, howdy, Old Man Pettybone was crabby as all hell at the meeting of the international order of Jurassic Mammals last night! He wouldn't listen to a WORD the didelphodon contingent had to say, and completely overturned what I thought was a GREAT idea brought forward by the fruitafossor. I think the old coot is upset that such newcomer to the group is coming up with things that could completely change the group's remit.

Spills Cost Cohen and Slutskaya Dearly

'Cuz, you know, Diet Coke stains do NOT come out of those outfits all by themselves, and the concierge at the Olympic village charges a FORTUNE!!


And with that, we end this broadcast of TIFF TV, where our motto is "weak humor is STILL humor, dagnabbit!"


Erica said...

the didelphodon contingent - that right there cracked me up. I blame the internet - and YOU - for my lack of productivity. THANK YOU.

Have a great weekend!

Anonymous said...

I've come to expect, and look forward to, your Friday posts. STILL laughing...

rennratt said...

Jon Stewart...


Happy Friday, indeed!

tiff said...

Renratt - I feel similarly toward Jon and Q. Aren't I just the biggest geek? :>

rennratt said...

A geek, yes. With WONDERFUL TASTE! I had a crush on that "Q" guy back in the day...didn't he play Eugene the mad scientist on Days of our lives? (Who fell in love with Calliope the ditz?)

Who's the bigger geek NOW?!

tiff said...

Renratt - you win. I cannot top that reference, even if I tried. :>