Sunday, February 26, 2006

This is only a test....

Mopeychick (go on, click on the link, I'll wait) mentioned something in a recent post about getting a lot of hits after posting something about "total colorectal beauty." The actual POST was very interesting, of course, and timely, and full of must-know kinds of information. But, as shocking as this might sound to y'all, that was not the reason she got so many hits. No, that was not it at all.

She got so many hits because, apparently, posts that mention "anal bleaching" and "anal waxing" and suchlike generate a lot of traffic from people interested in hairless bleached buttal regions. I know, who would have thought that there was such an INTEREST?

This got me to thinking, which is dangerous sometimes - what if I generate a post of random smutty phrases as an experiment to see how many hits this site will get in response?

And my brain answered itself, as it sometimes does, thusly -"Why the hell not, it's the weekend, we've got nothing better to do, and maybe tomorrow we'll take it down so that the stain on our good name will be at least partially erased."

(My brain and I are a team, therefore when talking to ourselves we use the plural pronoun so as to seem more "together" and friendly.)

Thus answered, I (we?) shall embark upon the experiment and will report the results tomorrow....

NOTE: What follows is my best attempt at smutty phraseology, which may titillate, amuse, or offend you. It will seem shockingly lame to the cognisceti of erotica (if you're out there, feel free to suggest additional fake search phrases, please) but to some of us it might introduce avenues of heretofore unthought-of objects or activities.....like:

perky cheerleader
hot wet grandma
full penetration zucchini
hairy armpits love
anal master (I hate myself that I typed that)
naughty maid pinch

(Shoot! I'm not very good at this)

co-ed physical
tied-up nurses
hard body bikini
hardbodies sweaty
topless dancers gone wild
sassy redneck girl in cutoff jeans
extreme spanking

OK - enough. I feel dirty. I need to go take a shower or find a way to wash out my brain.

Let the experiment commence!

(Additions from Renratt - anal love beads and dirty blow up doll. Isn't she precious? And so creative!)

(Additions from Oldfriend - trampling (good God, I don't think I want to know) and pony sex. There's obviously so very very MUCH I need to learn; thanks sistah!)

(Addition from mopeychick - big pooping butt.)

(Additions from a newbie, Wil - picture, gif, jpg, jpeg, mpeg, avi, movie. Nice way to make a first impression there, Wil!)

Oh, I'm going straight to H-E-double hocky stix for this, I'm sure.

16 comments:

rennratt said...

Oh, dear, dear God.

Ok. Now what about

Anal love beads?

dirty blow up doll?

sorry, that's all I have. They can be purchased at your local

spank-o-rama love store

rennratt said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
rennratt said...

Tiff

My comment posted twice. Blogger is going sideways again.

tiff said...

Wait - how do you remove your own comment? I need the secret.

The post will now be amended to include your inspired additions. My thanks.

kenju said...

Hmmmmm.....you ought to get some very interesting spam in the near future.

Jess Riley said...

Oh, now you'll get some great traffic. ;)

rennratt said...

Tiff-

After your comment posts, there should be a trash can option. If you post twice (or change your mind re a comment), press the trash can icon. It will delete the comment.

rennratt said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
rennratt said...

I had to delete again, as Blogger posted me twice. Since you maintain this site, you should have the option of deleting all posts. You would have to be signed in to blogger at the time.

tiff said...

renratt, thanks!

Jess/kenju - we'll see. So far (accordign to stiemeter) the "results" are rather lackluster. Perhaps noboby cruises for smut on Sundays. :>

tiff said...

That's "according to sitemeter."

Note I spelled "smut" correctly.

(the "word" I have to type in to post my comment is "pddho," which translates in my brain to "P. Diddy ho." It's clear I need a hobby.)

oldfriend said...

I keep telling you. HBO's 'Real Sex' and 'Cathouse' will do wonders for your um, vocabulary.

Try 'trampling' and 'pony sex'.

Wil said...

should have added picture, gif, jpg, jpeg, mpeg, avi, movie

Wordnerd said...

Missed this post, for some reason, but I think it's an awesome experiment! Keep us posted on this one.

tiff said...

Wil - you demonically brilliant person!

WN - will do! I'm hoping for some really eye-opening things to come out of this post. If not, then my faith in humankind is partially respored.

tiff said...

"respored"?

pod person much?

Jeez - "restored."