|That's an Aston Martin. His dog ate it.|
Precious things, garbage, clothing, paper, sticks, anything. Some dogs eat furniture too, but so far with Wern we've not had that problem. He stops at 'precious things' and calls it a day.
What is a precious thing, might you ask?
Anything that is on the kitchen table or other 'off limits' (in our minds) area to which he does not have express access. I know, I know, he's a DOG and as such if a cat happens to knock a precious thing off the table (or other off limits area) the thing then becomes perfectly acceptable to chew on, and, usually, to destroy.
As is what happened to my computer glasses several weeks ago.
Yes, I have glasses to wear when I'm using the computer. How very middle-aged of me, I know.
See (heh), I don't need glasses to read, because my left eye is nearsighted. I don't need glasses to drive, because my right eye is farsighted. I DO need glasses to clearly see my computer, because it sits in the perfect middle-distance at which neither of my eyes sees very well at all. Left eye is still winning, but Rightie is making a valiant effort to superimpose a fuzzy double-image of the screen, which isn't as helpful as one might imagine, but who am I to tell Rightie to lay off and quit working?
It doesn't help that my eyes see things in slightly different colors, either. The left one transmits more in the ruddy range, while Rightie is cool blue, in general.
Do you not wish you were me right now, with the wonkiness? 3D movies are out of the question, if you must know.
I've been working at the computer (it's what I do) for the past few weeks without my glasses, and I can't say it's been a terrific experience. Lots of squinting and embiggening going on, some of which is of course because I am old, but the remainder is because I simply can't see as well as I ought to at that distance. Curiously, my eyesight is not getting any better from the daily workouts, and the fact must be faced - it's time to get the peepers peeped at and things brought to rights.
I should probably thank Wern for eating the last pair, his ingestion of my fancy polycarbonate no-frame titanium-templed specs was done from a place of LOVE to save me from continued use of the scratched-up lenses. I know. Dogs are good like that. They take care of us. Even if it means I get to shell out another 400 clams for the exam and glasses.
That money's coming out of his 'treats and toys' budget, but don't tell him that. It'll be a long and lonely two weeks until that deficit is made up.