Friday, October 21, 2011

Roaming gangs of hooligans

A beautiful day is turning into the perfect fall night. Temps are dropping, the air is crisping, the football team is playing, and bands of young men are wandering our neighborhood shouting and being generally rambunctious.

Now, I'm all for the rambunctious, but these fellows are like those dudes who show up at 8:30 on Hallowe'en night with NO costume and a look on their faces that say 'gimme ALL the candy and nobody gets hurt.' You know the type. A little thuggy, I suppose. I'm not a real huge fan of the thuggy.

What makes the gang of young men a little more concerning is that they've been through the neighborhood a few times now. OK, so our neighborhood is kind of cute, but I'm pretty sure the young men aren't admiring the architecture, unless such admiration is normally accompanied by lots of cussing. Is it? If so, I've been doing it all wrong.

So there's that. Which is why I'll be picking up Thing 1 at school after the football game is over. Yes, I'm an overprotective Mom, I GET THAT. Just hush up. I can so be overprotective if I want to. Do you know how big a challenge it is to let him go to the game ALONE? Sheesh. Baby steps, people. Can't let the Big Bad Thugs get my boy.

(as though I, a firmly middle-aged, chubby, out-of-shape woman could do ANYTHING with thugs except give them the verbal smackdown of their lives. But hoo boy, would I try.

While looking for a stout branch to wave around. Or flicking a lighter menacingly.

I really have no idea what to do with thugs, is what I guess I'm saying)


Had a weird experience 3 times today. I was at the kitchen table, being rather productive and using what small dab of focus I had within my powers, and 3 times random phrases popped into my head like they were being spoken to me.

It would have been great if they'd been this week's winning lottery numbers, but no. Nothing that insightful. More like 'peanut butter wasp wings' and 'delicious affirmation bottletop.'

Where's the sense in THAT? What am I supposed to do with that kind of information? It's as stupid and useless as the time I saw a temporary license plate with the numbers 18234458 and started singing them (all notes fit on an octave, if you want to try this at home). And then I couldn't stop playing with those notes, like if I did them just right something great would happen and maybe I'd lose 30 pounds overnight or suddenly find a few thousand extra dollars in my bank account. The notes! They HAUNTED ME!

And these weird snips of phrases do too. Why such nonsense? What neurons misfired to make that happen?

It should come to you as no surprise that this is not the first time something like this has happened.

But we won't go into that right now.


Hey - Y'all have your Hallowe'en decorations up yet, or are you shooting straight to Christmas like the retail facilities?

We have yet to hang the giant spider, shop for pumpkins, carve our jack-o-lanterns, or otherwise festive up the place. This is the first time in 4 years we're not planning some party or another, and the time and pressure to perform just sort of sauntered off, dozily nodding at neighbors and wishing for a Cheerwine.

But I don't think it's too late to get in the haunted mood, do you? There's plenty of time to spook up the joint and visit haunted corn mazes (or whatever) and bake something delicious and horrifying.

John Wayne Gacy cookies, maybe! Or witch fingers! Slimy-gut spiders (bread bowls with spinach dip in...)!

Your ideas for utterly horrifying yet delicious holiday fare are welcome in the comments. And ALSO = feel free to answer any of the other queries posted in this question-heavy missive.

Then have a lovely weekend. Tiff out.

(***image courtesy HERE. I'm as amazed as you are that a GIS for 'thug spider' turned up anything, let along something s awesome as this costume idea***)

No comments: