Tuesday, July 26, 2011

The sun's coming in through the kitchen window

It's 5 p.m., nearly, and I'm already home. The Things are holidaying at home this week, and while I'm sure the lovely lovely internet can keep them company for at least 12 hours in a row, I do like to be home to listen to them kill things on their gaming systems.

Currently, they're killing zombies. And something called 'Boomers,' which I understand throw up as their main means of defense (and, not coincidentally, offense).

Also, they talk into a headset at the people with whom they play these games, so conversations are very one-sided, like 'oh man, you shot me!" and 'aw man, I died,' and 'aw man, that was uncool,' and the very occasional 'OMG! Get me out of here!'

I learn so much from them, you know. Like, it's possible to let a whole day pass without once ever thinking of brushing your teeth, and it's possible to wear holes in the carpet from rocking back and forth on what should be a chair so uncomfortable that sitting in it for more than 30 minutes might be considered to be torture, and it's possible to wear the same pair of pants 5 days in a row because, really, who's going to SEE them?

They live in their cave, and I make them come out to eat, because I'll be jiggered if I'm throwing meat and potatoes into their room and act all surprised when they finally emerge years from now, pale and doughy, thinking the only way to be friends with someone is to charge up your favorite blaster and KILL THEM.

So this Mama hangs out in the kitchen, listening closely to what's going on while her charming young men cause e-mayhem and e-death. See - I like to know when things are getting really out of hand; it's when things go quiet that I'll really need to start worrying.

Just like when they were toddlers.


It's weird being home at 5. The light's all wrong, and there are way too many hours left in the day. The normal rush of evening is all stretched out, with no hurry, and that's just unAmerican.

There's only one thing to do in the face of all that potential at-home productive time.


Except, HORRORS! BB on FB is down for now! Ack! What to do, what to do, to waste the half an hour I think it will take to get me in the right frame of mind to start the evening's festivities?

Laundry? Feh. That giant pile can wait.

Dishes? Feh. Did 'em yesterday, and a new batch will be there tomorrow.

Go through that stack of papers/pay bills/update the calendar? FEH! That smacks of real responsibility, and would ruin the air of near-catastrophe that bestows a certain stench of desperation to the Tiny House, which smells kind of like bacon and onions, so it's really quite lovely.

There clearly are no good alternatives to wasting time when one truly, deeply, and honestly wants to waste time.

Unless I've missed a way. How do YOU do it, the time wasting? Is there something beyond mindless 1-minute games that can chew up tremendous amounts of time that works for you? I've dabbled with FARK and Dark Roasted Blend, but those sites contain content that is nearly informational, and no good can come of that when you don't want to have anything to show for your time.

I'm relying on you, Internet friends. Save me from the productivity that might result from PopCap servers being down!

Thank you in advance - Tiff out.

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