Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Where's the brown ribbon?

It's official -I have numb-butt syndome. Been in this chair for the past 3 hours, with a few breaks to visit the room of repose, and my rear has disappeared. Well, at lest it FEELS like it has, because I'm not getting much sensation from down under.

Can bedsores be far behind? One wonders.


Had a too-quick visit from my mom Monday and Tuesday. She's on her way to a beach near here to hang with her besties for a week, which sounds lovely, doesn't it? I'll bet THEY don't get numb-butt syndrome; they'll be too busy visitin' and shoppin' and poolin' and whatnot to let much grass grow under their derrieres.

Ah, retirement. When you fill your calendar with stuff you WANT to do, not stuff you MUST do. I wonder if I'm ever going to have that luxury? At the rate I'm saving for our future, the answer is a big fat 'no.'

Anyhow, it was great to see the mom-unit and to have some hangout time with her too. She took the kids to the hotel pool yesterday afternoon which is awesome, and we had dinner, took a quick walk, and played dominoes until 45 minutes after the Things' established bedtime. 'Twas much fun, but now she's on her way to bigger and better playtime with the gals, and we're back to our regularly scheduled routines.

At least I think we are. It seems that 'routine' for us is an elusive creature, what with everything that's gone on this year. We won't know how to act without a crisis of major proportion going on!

Personally, I'm all for that.


There's a woman at work who has dropped 8 pounds in 10 days on the HCG diet. Sounds great, right? All you have to do is eat no more than 500 calories a day and take human chorionic gonadotropin daily for 20-some days, and you'll be cleansed of toxins while dropping oodles of pounds.

What's that you say? Some nonsense about there being more calories in a Little Debbie snack cake than you're allowed ALL DAY on this diet? Are you asking if this is some kind of mistake, what there should be a '1' in from of the 500?

Well, no.

The eating plan allows for 500 calories a day, max. And low/no carbs. And no sugar. And no alcohol. No salmon. No pork. Limited choice of veg.

But you DO get to drink lots and lots of water and have only coffee for breakfast, so what's not to love?

My point exactly.

The diet is supposed to be a fat flush (therefore the hCG supplementation, which mobilizes brown fat to be utilized, much like a pregnant mama's fat is used to feed a fetus she might not know she's carrying for a while), which is an attractive term, don't you think? Fat flush? Whoosh, buh-bye!! Muscle mass is supposedly not affected, and the hCG might even boost testosterone levels which would make it easier to gain muscle mass.

But.....500 calories a day? No alcohol? For 6 weeks?

One wonders if being skinny is worth the dreadful dreadful suffering those kinds of draconian restrictions would engender. Certainly there's potential for life to lose a little of its zing, even if you DO get to use' the juice of one whole lemon daily.'

Your thoughts?


That's it from here for today. I'mma go see if I can activate some gluteal nerve endings by taking yet another hop and skip around the building. People might point and laugh, but phantom-ass syndrome demands swift and decisive corrective action!!

Y'all rock what's left of this mid-Sept humpday.

No comments: