Monday, September 27, 2010

Getting old really sucks


So, hey. It's been a while, hasn't it? Almost a week, and that's rather unusual for me. I normally can prattle on and on about nothing at all on the slightest provocation, but this past week has seen me strangely silent. Not sure what's going on, but I'm blaming it on menopause.

So much can be blamed on menopause.

Let's check the boxes on things I'm currently blaming on menopause, shall we?

  • Anxiety
  • Lethargy
  • Weight Gain
  • Digestive 'issues'
  • Hair loss
  • Dry skin

Paints a pretty picture, does it not? In short, I'm currently living life as a lazy, nervous, fat, gassy, flaky, balding woman.

I'll wait for you to regain your senses after being walloped by the vision of that much sexy being incorporated into one person.

Some of these items are easier to live with than others. For instance: I've been fat and lazy for years, so having something to blame it on other than my lack of discipline or motivation is rather nice. Of the other issues mentioned, can you then guess which of them I'm most upset about?

If you guessed 'hair loss,' you'd be right.

Because of what menopause and general aging has done to me, I don't have much left going for me except a miraculous capacity for self-deprecating humor and what used to be a nice head of hair. The hair was strangely important. Fact: we all lose between 50 and 100 hairs a day. Also fact: hen a person with long hair loses a hair, that it can look like a lot of hair being lost. Perhaps it's just that I was an abnormally gifted person in the realm of holding onto my hair in the past, and now at almost 50 years old I'm getting my comeuppance, yet this transition isn't an easy one. See, I started growing my hair out a few years ago, and really liked how it was looking, I even held a little pride in it, which of course leads to downfall. "Downfall' for me comes in getting hit with the hormonal ugly stick, at which point shit just started going pearshaped (like me!) left and right, and up and down. I feel like I'm walking around just dropping hair at a frantic pace. Just combing it is a traumatic experience, and one on which I'm probably expending way too much nervous energy (see 'anxiety' in the list above.

Y'all, I'd thought that the cessation of visitations from Auntie Flo were going to be easy to get used to, and they were, because 35 years of that crap gets OLD, but the continuing adjustments to my physicality are starting to grate my cheese a little. I mean come on, after a few years of adapting to 'the change,' you think the changes would stop!

So, body, enough already. Stop losing your hair, quit with the sudden sweats, please cease the random anxiety attacks. Besides going bald, we really don't have all that much to worry about right now, so I'd appreciate you going a little bit easier on your seeming goal to rack up every single symptom of menopause that's ever been cataloged. Being a lazy, nervous, fat, gassy, flaky, thin-ponytailed old lady is about as much as I'm willing to take.

You have been duly notified.

(ed note: of course just being totally stressed out could cause hair loss too. Let's just say 2010 has not been the kindest, most gentle year for stress-free living...)



The divine Ms Kenju has a nice wrap-up of a harpsichord concert we went to yesterday, so I won't repeat it here. You should go read though. It's more interesting that it sounds!


THE ONE WHERE I TALK ABOUT THE WEATHER (and thus firmly cement my place as a budding elderblogger):

You know what's nice?

NOT ROASTING, is what's nice. Also, getting rain. Also, getting more rain.

It's only like 70-something degrees outside, the AC hasn't kicked on in hours, the lawn has stopped crisping, and Tinkerbell got a free bath courtesy of mother nature. Bonus - it's not supposed to get above 85 degrees here for the whole next week!

Fall might just be thinking of making an appearance here. And about dang time too, seeing as how it's nearly OCTOBER.




Well, that's it for now from this little corner of the world. Sure hope y'all are rocking your own patches of turf!

Tiff out.

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