Monday, July 19, 2010

back to earth, with furry bits

Came back to the office today and instantly got a wonderful gift: no phone messages.


Also not-so-bad was the email tally: 68 unread messages, fully 2/3rds of which were auto-notifications for things I could easily delete.

BLISS x 2.

Normally it takes me about a day to go through all the messages and emails and crap that accumulates during a week+ off, but within an hour I was caught up, responded to outstanding issues, and arranged a couple of meetings to discuss some issues further with key players.

Then I was tired, so went on FB and wasted some time while recuperating from the burst of productivity. It’s all about pacing, you see.


Last night, after plopping down in the loveseat with a plate full of dinner at 9 p.m. (how continental!) a perfect storm of teevee presented itself for our viewing pleasure –“American Prison” and “Spider People” were playing at the same time! Awesome. There’s nothing quite like flipping back and forth between a show about sad wrecks of miscreants and a show about conjoined twins while eating spicy chicken stir fry, wouldn’t you agree?

For the record, I wanted the conjoined twin show. Seriously, there was a segment on a kid with a parasitic twin! Who wouldn’t want to watch every second of that glorious fare? Oooh, and there were these 40-year-old women who were about the size of 4-year olds who are joined at the hip, quite literally, and COULD be separated except that then each of them would only have one working leg (the third one being just a fleshy appendage that sticks out their bumside) and one of them would have to get a colostomy (only one exit for both of them, as it were) so they decided to NOT get separated. Probably a good thing, as I detected a strong whiff of codependency between them and being separate might just make the more passive one murderize her rather whiny sister, and that would be sad. Sad, sad one-legged former conjoined twin. Who will you be mad at now?

Yeah, I maybe have a little thing about conjoined twins. OK, a BIG thing. They’re pretty fascinating. Especially the parasitic ones. They’re my favorite kind. So it was a good night, all in all. For one, we weren't in jail, and for 2, neither of us is conjoined. Pretty sweet.


Getting back to real life after a vacation is an exhausting business. It doesn’t seem to matter that we did laundry ALL WEEK LONG while at the lake, upon arriving back home a pile the size of a bull mastiff appeared on the bed, needing to be folded and put away. And th DISHES, holy heck! They’re reproducing on their own, probably due to a combination of sun spots and my laziness. One of them grew a sticky coating that was taking the scubby stuff off the Scotch-Brite sponginator-thingie, so a nuclear option for the mysterious reproduction isn’t out of the question either. That plate, mysterious goo and all, is now in the trash. Can’t have it coming into contact with the other plates and flatware, as we’re not in the market for new dishes right now and so can’t afford to risk the spread of contagion. Best to sequester the funky one than tempt fate, I always say.

And then there was the animal hair on the carpet. Let’s just say I had to empty the dirt cup after only vacuuming HALF of it. Utterly filthy. Disgusting, even. And yet we keep the dog, and the cats, surrounding ourselves with hairy monsters who like nothing more than to slobber on our stuff, shed basketloads, knock crap off horizontal surfaces, and whine about how hungry they are.

Clearly we're nuts, and there's not much chance of changing.


That’s it. Must get back to doing what I’m paid for instead of doing what I like. Bacashun = over.

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