Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Proud moments in parenting

Today, I am a mommyblogger.


See, the Things are out on trackout this week and the next two weeks, and I scrambled to find them a place to hang out this week while they're with me. Well, if by SCRAMBLED one means to "go online and see if there's anything left for them to do during this week of trackout, with an eye toward value, convenience, and the right hours of daytime coverage to ensure I could still show up at work for a reasonable period of time every day while secretly wishing I had enough vacation time to just take the week OFF, which I do not, so camp it is for them."

I'm all about the high-quality decision making, ain't I?

A half-hour of scrambling found me a local sports camp, which runs year-round programs, has the right hours of coverage, and wouldn't tear me apart limb from limb in an effort to get to my pocketbook.

Sweet relief, of the 400 bucks a week sort. (Listen, 400 clams a week for both Things is cheap compared with what I COULD be paying for other "theme" camps. Horseback riding camp? 500 a week, PER KID. YMCA camp that they've been to and didn't like? 250 a week, PER KID. This shit is expensive, y'all!) I thought I was so smart.

In the back of my mind, though, there was the niggling little thought that maybe sports camp might not be the BEST place to send them, because let's face it, the Things aren't exactly your typical sports-addled kids. No, as a matter of fact, they're about as far from sports-addled as a young boy can get without being comatose. But still - sports camp! It'll be fun! Basketball, ice skating, indoor soccer, batting cages! A kid heaven, right?

Well, to let you know just how much they love sports camp, let me quote something Thing 1 said when I picked them up from Day 1 of the Ultra-Faboo Sports Camp:

"Mom? Just one thing. I hate this place."


Not so much kid heaven, I suppose.

After they discerned that I'd already PAID for sports camp, and that any refunds just because they hated the place were probably going to be few and far between, they allowed as to how they could "endure" sports camp until the end of the week.

Yep - that's just EXACTLY the kind of high-quality trackout experience I want for my kids. Not. Cripes, I might as well have just locked them in the house with their Xbox and saved myself the 400 bucks.


Yesterday was a different story, for they went to a place in the sports complex that has indoor bounce-houses, and they proudly told me that "they broke every one of the rules! There were 11 of them and we broke them ALL!" and thus sports camp has ceased to be hated.

Today is cookie decorating day at sports camp. Who wants to bet that this, therefore, will be the Things' best day there yet?


Next trackout they're going back to computer camp. Robots trump the batting cages any day.

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