Monday, August 28, 2006

Put up or shut up

Must. Post.Every.Day.


If only for a little bit o' something.....


I have an idea!!!

Let's talk about me for a minute! Specifically, let's talk about things I have done that are/were ill-advised or that perhaps tipped over the line into downright dangerous.

Why, you ask? To which I reply - why NOT? I'm human, I've done "things," I'm not just boring middle-aged Tiff, I'm also quite possibly the most senseless human being to ever tread the surface of this planet!

To wit, some stupid things I've done:
  • drinking until I puked in the bushes outside the dorm where the kegger was being held.
  • putting up this post
  • skiing on a slope far too advanced for me.
  • driving with a migraine aura.
  • debating religion with a born-again christian.
  • standing toe-to-toe with a boyfriend's pissed-off former lover, who outweighed me by a considerable amount and was a few inches larger than me, and talked her off her indignant pedestal with a well-placed "I'm sorry you're angry, but there's nothing I can do about that."
  • agreeing to play backgammon in the room of a guy I'd just met, who thought that agreeing to play backgammon was the equivalent of me begging him to sleep with me. It wasn't, but I wasn't strong enough to stop him.
  • jumping off a 35-foot-high water tower into a resevoir.
  • keeping snakes as pets
  • getting involved with someone who felt like it was my job to save them from themselves.
  • making my Mom cry, on purpose
  • trying to drown my brother
  • making a u-turn in the middle of a 4-lane road at 4 a.m. after partying all night. The nice policeman seemed a little taken aback that I could pass the field sobriety test.
  • sleeping with people I'd just met.
  • waiting too long to go to the hospital to deliver Thing 1. They don't allow pain meds after you're 7 centimeters dilated, apparently. Who knew?
  • telling a posse of male prostitutes who were propositioning a bunch of us high-school girls on a band trip to Montreal that they'd have to pay ME to "do me right", and that none of them were pretty enough for any of us. I was 16, and was the only one who had the knothead to speak up to those overly-perfumed wanks. I'm still proud of that.
  • adopting procrastination as a lifestyle
  • taking a puff of that joint that one time that had that wacky PCP shizz in it that made me get all paranoid and crazy. If I'd known it was laced, I would have stayed away.
  • holding on to one guy so tightly he HAD to dump me. hoo-boy, what I didn't know then about jealousy could fill a book.
  • trying to swim the length of the pool underwater with just one breath.
  • thinking that "elementary springboard diving" would be an easy A.
  • not eating for a month because I was "upset."
  • thinking that getting a PhD would be "too hard."

Yep - I've done some stupid stuff. Some if it was brainless, some of it was pretty fun, some of it was dangerous (but still fun), some of it was just plain dangerous, and some of it has led to some significant emotional scarring.

Think you can tell which is which?

Now it's YOUR turn - what's a stupid thing you've done that you'd like to tell the world? You're among friends, so SPILLLLLL!

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