Tuesday, June 06, 2006

This is the one without a title

As I write this, the window behind me is being all snarky and mean. It's saying "look! Look at me! I show you a sunny day, blue skies, warm temperatures, and puffy white clouds! I show you something that was made for play, and yet you, you drone, you worker bee, sit on your expando-butt and crank out whatever it is that you crank out, while somewhere your inner child screams for relief from the monotony and just wants to go out and PLAY, but ha-ha on you because guess what, you can't. You drone. You tiny cog, you speck of a placeholder in the maelstrom of real life."
My window takes epithet lessons from Shakespeare, so it seems.
Sometimes, I hate the window, and punish it by closing the blinds so that its mocking sneers and gibes will be rebuffed by the slats of the gray metal blinds that cover it. But still, I can hear its small voice, rendered tinny by the aluminum filter, sing out "neener, neener, neener! It's still NIIIIICE out here!" and I have to escape to the break room for something made of sugar and chocolate, because then I will feel better about life.
It's too bad there's not a bourbon dispenser in the break room, because I'd totally be all over it.
So, anyhow, I know you want to hear about my new house, and how far along we are in the preparations to move, because you are interested like that and I am one to accommodate the polite inquiries of the internet, even if nobody asks right out loud because sometimes y'all are too shy for your own good:
It's fine.
Everything is fine.
We will get through the packing and the moving and the turning off of utilities and the turning on of utilities and the shuffling of schools and the nagging of county officials and the sifting through stuff we own to decide to dump or keep and the painting of rooms and the placing of furniture and the buying of rugs and the maintaining of the sanity.
We will, I say to you, because yesterday I bought myself some super-dee-duper vitamins and fish oil stuff at the GNC that are purported to be just the thing for a "fluffy" woman in her 40's who may or may not be treating herself just exactly right, and by the time the real moving starts in a week I'm going to be so hopped up on natural phyto-whatevers that I'll probably go all green when I get angry or maybe shoot lasers out my eyeballs or steam out my ears. I'll be strong as an ox and as graceful as a dancer while lugging boxes and closet stuff and boxes and kitchen stuff and boxes and boxes and boxes. I'll be patient as a lamb and as righteous as Solomon as the movers ask where does this go and as my children fight over whose toys go in what room and as my husband wonders where all the stuff is going to go because the garage seems to be all full up and the truck ain't empty yet.
I can see it all in the gleaming mirror of positivity that is my optimistic mind, and have great hopes that all this will come to pass due to the wonders of vitaminology and it's effects on my physiology.
Updates as events warrant, you can be sure.


WordsRock said...

I read your post and heard the echos of Tracy Bonham singing "everything's FIIIINNNEEEEE!"

I think your windows have cousins. They live at my house.


mar said...

Hi and congratulations on being Michele's site of the day! Good Luck with your moving experience... Have a great day!

jennypenny said...

Ah i hate it when it is soo nice out and you can't go out and player. Total downer. Hopefully being the site of the day will help cheer you up!

Here from Michele's

Ravvy said...

wow your not only site of the day, *Oh cha, Michele sent me!*, but your have the most rudest and sarcastic windows ive ever heard!!

Mine dont taunt me so much as whisper sunlights into my hair or on my face or around me and then as im sitting there feeling all warm and fuzzy i know that im not going to do anywork for the next 10 minutes and i go outside... only to be attacked by the hugemungeous New Foundland out the back which just encourages me to return back inside...

Yeah... Windows are just a PANE in the butt... get it... pane... haha!

Catherine said...

Hope the move goes wel and you are dancing with all those boxes. I only work three days a week and I swear those are the sunniest days...
Here from Michelle's today

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Oh I hope the Big Moving Angel looks down on you and smiles tyhe broadest of smiles....May it all go very very smoothly and all the boxes land in all the correct places! (From my moutyh to God's Ear, yes???)

Congratulations on being Michele's site of the day....I hope you have a wonderful turn-out for your Special Day!

Mamacita said...

I haven't noticed the fish oil making any difference but I hope you do.

I'm here from Michele's but I'll be back all on my own. Your place is lovely.

yellojkt said...

Congrats on site of the day!

I agree with your last post. Blogger was being totally passive aggressive the other day, but I just can't break it off.

Chelle said...

Come back North. It rains and rains and rains and rains and.. well you get the idea. Sun comes out only as a teaser. Either way you are on fish oil now so life would be good either way, right?

Karen said...

Congrats on being Michele's site of the day. Bourbon dispenser. Now there's an idea whose time has come! Good luck with the move and such!

Michele sent me...

Dave said...

Well done on getting that highest of accolades - Michele's SOTD!

kenju said...

Congratulations, Tiff, on being Michele's site of the day! You deserve that honor, being the funniest woman on the web for my money (of which there ain't much).
Michele sent me today, but you know I am here often!

Daughter In Law said...

congrats on micheles sotd.
Love your post about being a blog whore!

Claude said...

Site of the Day! It must be the vitamins.

(In case you haven't guessed, Michele sent me.)

Anonymous said...

Site of the Day!!!! 'Bout damned time!!!! Woo - hoo!!! Don't forget us little people...

Anonymous said...

Oops! Here, this time, from Michele's!

Deb R said...

Let me know if the vitamins work, ok? 'cause, I could use some of that! :-)

Congrats on being the SOTD.
Michele sent me!

Goofy Girl said...

Good luck with the move!!

Congrats on being site of the day!

colleen said...

Of course you're making us all look out our own windows and wonder what the heck we are doing typing this!

Hello from michele's. Nice to meet ya!

tiff said...

Hey y'all! I'm all atwitter with the comments and the accolade and whatnot. Welcome to the most wee corner of the web, it's nice to have you!

Rampant Bicycle said...

(Hello, Michele sent me!)

I totally understand about the window. What is it with those things? Mine is being quite snarky today as well.

Trinity13 said...

I hope the move goes well for ya! I just went through a move myself...just make sure to mark all your boxes! :-)

Micele sent me today!!!