Wednesday, November 30, 2005


Why, lady, why?

Why did you lay out the booby trap for me, why?

Why did you, at some point this morning, use the luxurious and oversized handicapped stall (aka - "mine"), depositing the remains of your previous ingestion and not flush, why?

Why did you go even one step further and leave the very useful yet carelessly placed toilet seat protector where it could dangle over the edge, wicking the sullied water onto the floor, why?

Why do I find it incongruous that someone who would USE a toilet seat protector, and because of said use is apparently a NEAT and CLEAN person, would not actually FLUSH the toilet of her prepwork and leavings, why?

Did you not notice that you forgot to flush? Did you "forget" that you'd just crapped in a public restroom that other professionals also use? This isn't your house, lady, where maybe you like to leave the products of your alimentary system to marinate in the bowl for future inspection or as a reminder of a job well done. This is a place where other people do their "business" (yes, at work, just like you) and expect the throne room to be all neat and clean and orderly like it is every day. They do NOT, I repeat, do NOT expect to close the door to the luxurious and oversized handicapped stall, prepared for a breather, only to be faced with the fetid leftovers of your antemeridial efforts.

Did you snicker at the thought of someone like me having to face that horror of your passive-aggressive bathroom behaviors ("Ooooh, I'm naughty - I left my poo in the potty for someone else to clean up!")? Wait a minute - did you also "forget" to wash your hands? Did you then go and make coffee for all of us in the breakroom? (ick)

Next time I see this kind of thing happen, lady, I'm going to hide a camera in the wall-mounted spritzy air-freshener thingie that tells me in English and Spanish when it needs to be changed, and I'm going to get your photo. Then, lady, that photo will be posted all over this building, along with a photo of whatever it is that you "forgot" to flush, and you will be shamed into participating in the proper bathroom etiquette I'm sure your Mama must have taught you as a young sprat.

Unless you were raised by feral cats, in which case I apologize, because that the ONLY reason to behave the way you did.

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