Thursday, January 07, 2016

Swinging the boom

Hi guyz!!  I see you!
Hey, let's just get this out of the way, OK?

If anyone has a cure for sudden gushing nosebleeds, I'd sure appreciate it.

Good grief, I sniff too hard and epistaxis happens.  Forget blowing my nose.  I might as well just shove a teaspoon of Vaseline up there to moisturize that left nostril, or get a home wood-burning kit to cauterize whatever stupid little blood vessel is up there that insists on being a delicate flower and bursting forth in freshsets of crimson each time it feels just a lil' put upon.

Because, really.  ONE sniff?

This is the same nostril that just offered up sample of A+ gore at a review meeting 18 months ago or so, when I was so stressed out I looked at a sudden horrific nosebleed as a welcome respite from the stupidity that was happening in the room.  Oh, sure, I had to RUN out of the room with my hand cupped under my nose, hoping I wouldn't stain the conference room carpet, but at that time I was secretly hoping for some moderately-concerning ailment to take me out of that team for....6 months of so, so the nosebleed was a promising start.

Now?  I'm done with it.

Where's the dang Vaseline?


I feel like it's important to note that when the first thing your kids want to eat as a snack is kielbasa and sauerkraut, that somehow you've passed the ultimate parenting test and they're going to be fine in the big bad world.

They even passed up hummus.

Watch me pat myself on the back.


Oh, and one more thing.  When I came on board at the new job I was asked be a sort of process improvement expert/value adder type person.

As in 'let's go ahead and figure out why the company has you aboard.'

The last few months I've been observing and experiencing and training and figuring out where the chinks and gaps and thick rubbery blankets of onerous busy work are stored, and yesterday I released my findings upon my group.

Glorious day!

I really did kind of go with both barrels about how SUCK this job is and the hundred ways it could be better and had suggestions and drawbacks identified and notes outlined about possible co-groups that would need to be actioned to effect the proposed changes, and I GAVE A TIMELINE by which I thought all the issues noted could be addressed.

Yeah, I gave it to 'em good.

I even wrote a nice 3-paragraph preamble on the history of the effort, why the report was written, my observations about the group as it is and where I think it could go....all in corporate-speak.

An effort of which I am MOST proud.

Aaaaand, my boss wants to talk 1:1 with me about it next week.  I ain't skeered.  I did what she asked, I have my stump speech ready, and I am fully prepared to action the living SHIT out of my plan, coworkers agree with my findings and want a way to dig out from under the BS into the glorious light of relevance.

I am, in fact, their beacon in the darkness.  

Feels dang good.


Tiff out.


kenju said...

I do not doubt it one bit! You show how it ought to be done, Tiff.

Middle Girl said...

1. Sorry about the nosebleed stuff.
2. Yay, you being all reporty and stuff.

Middle Girl said...

Stuff is my new favorite word it would seem.

LL said...

I hope you didn't just write yourself out of a job...

tiff said...

Doubt it, LL, but if I did it wouldn't be the worst thing that has ever happened. Trying to keep a sunny disposition here, as long as my suggestions stay withing the group I should be fine!

oldfriend said...

You go you.