Saturday, January 11, 2014

The 'tornado', and being satan

Today was an unusual day, warm and moist, the very perpendicular opposition of what had been four days before.

Strange things, therefore, were afoot.

Indeed, and there were.  Bloated gray clouds above, expanding pipes below, the loosening of cold-cramp from a thousand shoulders, with a wary eye cast toward forecast and chickens, who know when to go to roost.

We do not have chickens, but let me imagine that part.  They would have been fast abed the entire day if allowed, I'm sure.

The HVAC man was due here between noon and 3, he showed up at 1.  The skies were overcast, but no ominous.  I, therefore, took Thing 1 t to Sweetie-pie-boo-boo-face''s house (his girlfriend) and returned to finish business with the Dude.  As I pulled into the driveway, there was a tugging wind.  As I walked up the porch stairs, there was a pulling wind.  As we talked about his services rendered and possible next steps, there was a DRIVING wind, with attendant thick rain driving sideways and bending tree branches plus flying greenhouses, at which point we retired indoors to complete business.

Three minutes later, there was no wind, no rain, no threat of imminent doom.  HVAC guy was able to get the whole-house filter installed, and promised to come back for the necessary blower cleaning.

Because, what's to say to one another after you've experienced an almost -tornado together, really, except "OK, see you soon"?

Those three minutes were scary, y'all.  And thrilling!  You should try it!


The thing about being satan?

You should know first that I am a Christ follower, a Christian, a believer in He who came as a sacrifice for our sins.

I believe all that, y'all, after MUCH soul-searching, questioning, bad behavior, utter nose-thumbing, meek acceptance, ferocious denial, and final open-armed laying out of self to Him.

It's weird, I'll admit.

But I'm fine with it.

Christ is my savior.  God is my Creator.  There, I've said it.

But.  It still can't keep me from wanting to question. Like Satan poking at Christ in the desert.  To probe.  To play the devil (or his advocate)  in order to figure out or at least find out more about the reason behind the believin'.  I cannot stop questioning this thing, this God'Christ thing, because it is fascinating and challenging and moving and essential.  So, if you are in conversation with me about the God Thing ( or want tobe , or can't wait to shoot me the nuclear 'ohellno' gun), in whatever way, please know that I am still seeking,still questioning, still wondering, still doubtful, still an open invitation to conversation.

Just laying that right there, in the dark hallways of the internet we accustom.

Thus endteth perhaps the oddest post I've ever laid out there.

With love.


noceleryplease said...

Being as I am in the middle of my own spiritual throes (albeit with a different set of gods than yours), I would never question someone who admits to having questions... no God(dess) worth being such is going to have a problem with wonderings of the faithful.

the only daughter said...

To paraphrase a "Twister" moment, We were lucky, that was just down drafts and micro-bursts. . .. Glad it was short and without major? destruction to be exciting.

I respect your beliefs and even more, respect your continuing to question.

LL said...

Discussing that are we? Ok... I'm right, you're wrong... what's the question?


rennratt said...

I have been in and out of church since I was 4 years old. I'm mostly in now, and STILL question God. I STILL struggle.

It's nice to know that I'm not alone in that aspect. I'm fairly confident that God's okay with the fact that I struggle.