Thursday, May 31, 2012

Ruminating like a Bossie

He and me? Exact same age. My beard is less gray though
Lord, lord, y'all.  So many things going on, and where's the 'oomph' to recount it or comment upon it?

I think I shall blame my birthday, and the age I've turned, for the recent downtick in activity, both here and elsewhere.  Once you've rocked a half-hundred birthdays, things can (and often do) become a wee tad more introspecty.

That's right.  Today is my 50th dang birthday.  FIFTY!  This is a whole new set of WTH I have to wrap my head around.  Fif-tee.  I an 50.

Shit, that's old.

My family gathered last weekend for a celebration of this milestone event.  My niece was also being confirmed that weekend, so we buzzed on up to her hometown and celebrated some special events.  My older brother and his family were there, of course, as it was his daughter getting confirmed.  My mom and stepdad were there too, and so was my younger brother and BOTH of his kids.  Sweeet!  We ate really good Chinese food, then went back to the hotel for cake and prezzies.  I got a Nook!  Sure hope it has large print, because, you know, I'm 50 now. (*snerk*)

Got the AARP application a couple of weeks back.  Not sure if I'm going to take them up on their offers, as some of their platform planks are not to my liking, so I'm unspecifically sure why except that I mentioned AARP to some retired friends lately and neither of them are still with that organization.  Also, I'm not retired.  I probably won't BE retired for another 20 years, so why bother joining.  Why don't we have an Organization of Old Fat Folks ('OoOFF' for short)?  I could join that one, easy-peasy.  No application required, just your age and poundage.  Heh - and the older and fatter you get the more eligible you are to hold office.  The oldest fattest one is automatically President!  No cheating though.  No 'feeders' allowed to compete.  No lying on your birth certificate.  Just folks who are honestly fat and old.

It might just work.  Should figure out how it can make me rich, though, because if a great idea like this isn't going to make me rich, there's no sense putting more thought into it.  Might as well dwell on 'ways to kill ants' or go play 'let's go find the missing socks,' neither of which will make me rich but would at least lead to Getting Something Done.

I'd adore being rich.  Like, filthy rich.  Like, 1%-er rich.  I could have so much fun with that.  Hey, I'd even be OK with having 'only' $400K left annually after paying taxes and expenses.  That's nearly $35K a MONTH to play with, cashola.  Break it down - that's almost 9 thousand bucks a week to spend however you'd like.  Thirteen hundred bucks a DAY (if my math is right).  Now, I could do some damage with that kind of scratch.  If I sit here and compare that with what I bring home now, it's pretty astonishing.  There are people in this world who think that having $400K 'left over' after all their other obligations are paid off that they're practically poor.  I'd LOVE to have a sit-down with these types to outline for them just how very wrong they are and how very much MORE they could be doing with that money than purchasing yest another fancy car or yet another apartment for their mistress/boyfriend/'bookkeeper.'  That kind of wallet padding is an AMAZING amount of money, can you dig it?  Amazing.  I consider my salary to be pretty robust, but it doesn't begin to touch that kind of bankroll. 

And it likely never will, because, let's remember, I'm 50.  I'm getting too old to have the energy to climb a career ladder, and don't really want to anyhow.  The view from where I am is pretty good.  It's not the bottom, but close enough to it that if I fall off I won't get seriously hurt, and far enough from the top that I won't get dizzy.  So, I'll never grab the golden ticket waiting several rungs up, who cares?  I'd just like one of the doodz waaay, up there to drop a piece of his, right into my outstretched hand.

Maybe today's my day to purchase a winning lottery ticket, who knows?

Meh - 50.   It's as good a reason to gamble as any.

Tiff out.

PS - May 31 1962 was also on a Thursday.  Adolf Eichman was hanged the day I was born.  There was also a train crash in France. Ray Charles' "I can't stop loving you" was the #1 song.  Benjamin Britten's "War Requiem" premiered.  So, that happened.  Oh, and if you can guess who that German actor is in the picture,  I'll send you a dollar.  First correct guess wins.

No comments: