Friday, March 11, 2011

Complaint department, third floor

Woke up this morning in an absolutely foul mood. I blame the post-alarm dreams for that, as they featured the following, though not necessarily in the order in which they appear:
  • Chicago
  • Lots of snow
  • Walking barefoot through snow
  • A steamroller-type machine that could dry out the snow, which was probably the coolest thing about the dream
  • My mom, though NOT my Mom, as this mom was disheveled, kept a dirty home, and hoarded keepsake trinkets like engraved glass tumblers with the names of amusement parks. Shelves and shelves of trinkets, reaching 12 feet high in the overstuffed (but well-organized) closets, along with boxes and boxes of old slides and home movies. Lots and LOTS of boxes.
  • The high-school class reunion that was unexpectedly held at my not-a-Mom’s bare and dusty home, plus that fact that nobody told me about it, we all had to wear white shirts and I only had green, and there was some mysterious’ boyfriend’ who rode a motorcycle and liked to wear long flowing skirts. I did not care for this boyfriend at all and did not know why he was there. He looked like Russell Brand, which made things even worse. Because, ew.
  • Children making snow forts in precarious mounds near heavily trafficked sidewalks, pushing out blocks of sandy snow toward where I was walking
  • Having to get to the airport on time to drop off the Things so they could take a flight to an unknown place, and we were running super late because I’d had to walk barefoot in the snow back home after a farm party with the reunion crew and mysterious boyfriend over mushy earth and steaming sidewalks that the steam-roller thingie had just cleared, and then my not-a-mom wanted to DRIVE but she didn’t have her glasses and it was my rental car anyhow…

Which is when I woke up, grumpy and late.

And then, before I’d had as a SIP of coffee, Thing 1 is pestering me about getting back on Runescape (I said, and I quote: “don’t even talk to me right now” because he’s not yet done doing the housepainting that got him MineCraft 3 weeks ago, and I’m not about to start paying for stupid Runescape again until at least the painting is done, and does that kid need a J-O-B or what?), the cat with an ass abscess zips into our bedroom (where she’s NOT allowed) and hides under one of the recliners, making Biff and I have to clear off all the crap that’s on it as a result of the many house projects that are ongoing in fore to tip up the chair to get to her, at which point she slinks under the OTHER chair, so that one gets cleared off and tipped, so she can scoot under the first chair, at which point I want to sharpen a stick and commence with the random acts of pokery, but instead growl and cuss.


Then Thing 2 forgot to take his trombone out of the trunk this morning at school drop off, so I had to backtrack to the school to drop that off, then I’m held up 10 minutes waiting for a road crews to let us past the re-surfacing work they’re doing on the road I need to take to get to work, and


You know what?

There was a huge freaking earthquake in Japan this morning, and hundreds of people lost their lives. There are protests in the streets of numerous countries by people who want democracy, there are starving hordes in too many places to count. The petty stupid issues I face in my comfortable home with healthy kids and the ability to pay the vets bill – INCONSEQUENTIAL.

I’m going to shut up now, go fix a nice cup of tea, and take deep cleansing breaths while chanting "my life does not suck, my life does not suck."

Y’all have a good day, and a better weekend. Tiff out.

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