Saturday, January 29, 2011

I pretty much oughtta just go read the book of Job.

Hi all! It's a bright sunny day here, with high temps predicted to be in the upper 50's this afternoon. Perfect weather for laying flooring, don't you think? Yes, yes it is.

Big doin's are scheduled for the Tiny House this weekend. With most of the kitchen remodel done, it's possible we might be finished in the next couple of days. Finished! I do believe all that's left to do is to put in the dishwasher, put down the flooring, and do the glaze coat on the upper walls. That's NOTHING compared with what has gone on before, and so the 6-week turn-your-house-upside-down-and-inside-out project is drawing to a close.

This pleases me.

And yes, there will be pictures.


So why should I need to read the book of Job, might you ask, if my days are filled with sunshine and lovely home remodeling projects that are almost done?

Well, it has to do with work.

You see, we are' consolidating' and 'enhancing real estate use' and 'co-locating global workgroups' where I work, which are all fancy ways of saying the following: we, the counters of beans, decided to downsize our office hardscape and are now shoving people into the few remaining buildings as fast as we can with no regard to their needs, preferences, or even a smidge of common sense.

For example - this past week saw the removal of the 'comfy chair and tables' ad hoc meeting areas near the conference rooms, the consequent removal of the plants and greenery that made those spaces attractive to occupy for a casual conversation, and the simultaneous advent of new cubes being placed where the comfy chairs and indoor trees used to be.

Yep - new cubes are being shoved into every easily conceivable nook in the building, to the detriment of the overall 'feel' of the building (and even some useful oxygen generation by the plants)

Oh, right - we were told just before Christmas that we're now not allowed to have PLANTS, either. Apparently they're dangerous or something. Not even one plant. Someone is clearly out to starve our souls of any amount of satisfying ability to create a homey environment. Next up I'm betting they'll outlaw all toys, pictures, and lamps, because they create a dangerous sense of individuality which will not be tolerated!

Anyhow, back to the new cubes. These new cubes are, you might have surmised, not in the nicest of places. They're actually in the hallways, outside of conference rooms! The unfortunate new occupants of these new cubes will have people parading past their workspace at all hours of the day, and will be forced, due to proximity, to overhear everything that goes on in these conference rooms throughout the day. They will hear the clicking of shoes and the casual conversations of people going to and fro. The people in the cubes will have nearly no privacy, as anyone who walks by to get coffee or a printout or to go to a meeting in the room the cube is butted up to will be able to peer into their workplace and gander at what's going on.

Really, they're in terrible places to work. When I saw them going up I thought 'wow - I feel bad for whoever's moving into the building had has to work in one of those cubes - they suck!'

So, guess who got one of the shittiest cubes in the building?

That's right.


I got word yesterday that I'm being moved into one of the worst cubicles in the building.

Can a cube location be worse than being right outside a conference room, in a freaking HALLWAY?

Yes, yes it can. We can put that dreadful right NEXT TO THE MAIN COFFEE AREA, which is in the acoustic equivalent of a 2-story tiled amplifier and houses the main stairway to the second floor which, at the upper landing, is also home to the second floor bathrooms.

Hallway, conference room, tile atrium, coffee machine, bathroom. All within 5 feet of my new sucktastic cubicle.

It all makes sense, right?Me, a writer, who spends a lot of time doing research, doing thinking, doing writing of important things that will be communicated to regulatory agencies around the world in the hopes of getting a drug approved for sale in those countries and thus who needs a fair amount of quiet time to THINK FOR PETE'S SAKE, is now sitting in the noisiest freaking place in the building, because clearly that's the best place for someone who does what I do.

It's as though the Gods of space planning are out to sabotage me. Like someone hates me. Like someone took a look at where I have been sitting for the past 3+ years and said 'you know what? She's had enough quiet, enough privacy with that cube that faces a wall, she's had enough beauty with the cube that has the window next to it (which she totally 'office-spaced by pushing out one cube wall, which is of course against the rules), let's give her the absolutely crappiest place to work in this whole building and see how long it takes her to crack.'

Well I have news for them - the fissures are already starting to widen. My dread at facing this move is deep and wide. I mean, how did the group admin get a cube in the nice quiet spot and I'm sitting in Grand Central Freaking Station? Why am I subject to such ill treatment? Who hates me so much they put me in the suckiest cube EVER? I barely even TALK to anyone at work - how could I have pissed off someone in facilities?

So, yeah, Job. He was tested, and tested, and tested. He was strong through many trials, until things got so bad even his WIFE was begging him to just off himself (I think I have this right), but he persisted, praising loudly and never giving up hope in better days. He had strong faith that things would work out and he would be provided for. He knew things could get worse.

Like, hey, at least we're not going to open plan. This is good, because NOBODY would ever see me then. I'd be the disembodied voice on the phone at meetings, the spectre-like presence on Office Communicator, the occasionally-sighted body in chair at important functions, but not the one who will fight for a spot at the table, so to speak, of the 'open plan' workplace.

So yes, it could have been worse.

But not by much.

I guess it's nothing that a good set of headphone and a nice cube-drapery can't fix, right.


Job Job Job Job Job Job Job Job.....

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